Violet

Every time I wake up on Thursday and I think wow I have to write a blog. I think maybe this is the week I just take a break but then I really think about it and with everything else I try to do, in the end it’s all about consistency. Try to stay consistent. Try to be accountable to myself. Try to push myself harder. So of course here I am writing. I am going to go to a kickboxing class today so I have to get ready in about half hour so this will not take long. (Never finished and here I am a day later)

In 1996 I was in a very terrible car accident. I spent about 9 months in a hospital. I remember at that point I thought I was overweight but I was only 325 pounds. I know you’re thinking, did he just say only 325 pounds. But the truth is after a car accident and having my hip broken in half, my pelvis broken in half, 8 weeks in traction and not walking for nine months, the depression and loneliness slowly helped me find my way to 550 pounds. When it was time to get my life back, I remember looking for car and there were not many to choose from. There were definitely not many that I can afford. There were not many I fit in. My dad was with me and we settled on a $5000 Ford Taurus because it had bench front seats so that I could definitely fit in there. It was forced upon me. It was all I could buy and fit in. I am pretty sure I drive that for about five years. And then I bought a new Ford Expedition. Same thing. Had to buy something I can fit in and at the time those were pretty cool as well, so i was happy. I then went into a Pathfinder Armada. Then I decided to get the Titan pickup truck. And I really do love my pick up truck and then with all the weight loss I decided to get something a little more logical gas wise – I got the outback list summer.

Five years ago or so when I started this diet and lifestyle change I said that I would buy my dream car when I lost one hundred pounds. I finally lost the hundred pound 15 months later, it wasn’t long after that Brandon got engaged. I never realized how much the kids were going to need for the wedding so I just kind saved. It was what It was. The house needed stuff, I needed stuff, Brett was in the police academy and we were helping with what we could…. I was paying $200 a month just for his ezpass. Life just happened. Every time I saw my dream car on the road my heart would pitter patter. It got even worse in Florida a few weeks ago.

I am a very pragmatic person and I am definitely an over thinker. If that isn’t enough I am overly anxious, have different traces of OCD, I worry way too much. We went to test drive a used one at Reedman toll and they were just assholes. I have bought over seven cars there in my lifetime and they’re big loyalty discount was 98 whole dollars.

I really wasn’t willing to change my DreamCar. I was willing to work with my dream color a little bit. I did not have to do neither. I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a Dodge salesman and my friend Bubba right away told me about his friend out of Maple Glen Pennsylvania. I went to their website and they had two of what I was looking for. One was my dream color. It was definitely more than I wanted to spend. But after talking with my family I have decided to lease because I could not get rid of the outback if I wanted to. And I can probably afford the lease more than I could the purchase.

I checked a few places and realized that the best I was going to get was out in Delaware County. Amber took a half day at work and we went out there last Friday. Long story short we came home with my DreamCar. She is beautiful.

My facebook blew up with me trying to name her and it’s been a week today – so I guess I should get to it, I looked at Harry Potter Names, Pet names Elvis had for his women etc….. It was hard. My god daughter wanted me to name her Rosie which i loved but my mom would find some way to say I was being mean to her etc.

Soooooo… after much thought… The car is named Violet. There is a HOLE song called Violet that I love and one of the lines goes….. And the sky was made of amethyst…..

Amethyst is also my birthstone. Amethyst is a stone of spiritual protection and purification, cleansing one’s energy field of negative influences and attachments, and creating a resonant shield of spiritual Light around the body. It acts as a barrier against lower energies, psychic attack, geopathic stress and unhealthy environments.

Yes, I goggled that shit but it does relate. See I am overthinking but the car does have a name 🙂 It’s Violet.

Thank you for anyone who took the time to try to help me. There were so many awesome names but she is a violet.

Okay then.

I have been pretty damn good with my macros this week. I just don’t know what it is about summertime that makes me want to eat all day long. I am OK till I break my fast and then all of a sudden I just want to keep eating till bedtime. I definitely have a hard time going to bed with my tummy rumbling.

And I definitely have a hard time going anywhere near the kitchen after 8 PM. I decided to always have chicken handy and if I have to eat then it’s going to be chicken. 4 ounces of chicken with some olive oil should satiate me.

But I am down six or 7 pounds of the 10 that I put on from Florida and more of the weekend. I know a lot of it was water weight, I know a lot of it was going over my carbs even slightly. I am back in control.

Ironically I spoke to my father about it this morning. He was joking around with me about going to kickboxing class. But the truth is, If I am going to have skin removal surgery in the early winter no matter who is paying for it and I want to make sure that my body is at the absolute best come January that it can be. Especially if I’m paying out-of-pocket for it then I need to make sure every sacrifice that my family and I make pays off in the long run. So while it would be nice to go off the wagon 1 million times this summer I don’t want to spend the entire fall fixing what I did wrong in the summer. That would get me nowhere. I have been there done that. Not going to fall into that circle again.

I definitely need to buckle down on my fasts. I had the best results after hitting 66 hours. It really threw my body into a great place. I just like to eat. LOL.

My oldest son turned 27 this past week. Do you want to know how old I am that’s how old I am. Already sitting here looking forward to being a grandfather. No she’s not pregnant that’s for sure but this time next year I’m sure it will be close. Back off everyone because I am going to be the little ones best friend. The night that I pulled up with the Challenger the first thing Brandon did was look in the backseat go yeah you could put a baby seat back there. I told him that my Outback will be a much safer child. I mean come on it’s my grandchild for gods sake.

This weekend takes me down the shore again. And I am looking very much forward to it.

Well it’s sunny out and the dogs went hit the pool. Happy Friday.

Much love.

Franco