Truce

We all have our stories. That’s what makes us unique. That’s what makes us who we are in the grand scheme of things. Your story is important. I have been saying this since I first found out about the SEMI COLON project and jumped into the To Write love on Her Arms Movement. Where do you think I get all

the T-shirts that I wear a lot on stage and in the summertime. Why?

You might not realize it but I have battled some very scary things in my life. I’ve let myself get depressed, I’ve let myself be an idiot many times, And I have literally gotten on and off the seesaw so many times that I annoy myself just thinking about it.

The good thing is that in the end I do have a very small circle that will always keep me honest, crawl through fire for me, even when I am that idiot. That’s what makes a true friend. The people that keep showing up, even when you want to go down into the black hole by yourself. They just know.

I have a twenty one pilots inspired tattoo. It’s on the inside of my wrist. You might’ve seen it on my Instagram stories once in a while or on Snapchat or even posted in this blog. It’s very simple. It says stay alive. simple. There is also a semicolon hidden in the artwork.  And while I can’t truthfully tell you that I have struggled with staying alive in the past, it was a close family member who was saved that inspired the tattoo. I tend to find depression is a long scary hallway. And some days it just kicks you in the ass and scared the living shit out of you.  Old Fashion Scary clown style.

But the only thing you can do is just keep showing up. Keep showing up to life. Fight that clown.  Walk down the hallway.  Embrace your struggle because you are enough.  Your story is important.

People say a lot of things, But you know what. Action is a mean tool for storytelling. Let that sink in for a few minutes. Action is a mean tool for storytelling.

As of today, and Mondays are usually kind of sucky for me, the magic number is 32. Yep a couple weeks ago in my last blog the magic number was 27. Guess what. That’s OK. Am I going to get it before New Year’s Eve? I don’t know. Am I going to keep showing up? Absolutely. The good thing about the blogs, and tracking a lot of my data Is that I know that as of today…. I still weigh 10 pounds less than last year. And that’s OK. My body has taking a break I guess. Up and down , up and down as I get closer and closer to my final goal. 32 more pounds to goal. Now what Franco? You really can’t eat any less food. You need to fuel the furnace to burn the fat.  You know that right? I actually added 200 more calories to my macros.

So I do know the one thing that has been slacking very much is my cardio. While I do not want to lose any muscle tone. I definitely need to sweat more. Get my heart rate going. So Amber and I talked about it, and she likes to bike ride. I love it in and looking at group classes in the area. If both of us go unlimited with many of them it would be over $300 a month. I don’t want to spend that. I hate the fucking cold and don’t want to go out anymore than I have to do in the winter. But I also and up over eating if I don’t keep moving so although I made fun of my gym friends who own a Peloton, I gave in and ordered one. My entire family can get on it for less than $100 a month as long as they have shoes. That is a win-win in my book.

So let me give you my first impressions. I bought as little as I could directly from Peloton. I got the heart rate monitor, weights, and Gym mat from Amazon.

It came around lunchtime on Friday. As of this morning I have done 10 rides. I will say three or four of them are five or 10 minute warm-ups or cool downs. I have taken two 30 minute classes so far.

Today is Monday. The dogs do not understand daylight savings time. So the family was getting up the dogs were pawing me in the face. So a few minutes after the house cleared I just got up. Fed the dogs. And ended up getting on the bike for 30 minutes. I broke a really nice sweat. I got off the bike, had my coffee, and jumped on my Monday sales call. When that was over I ended up doing my first 30 minute live class. It was OK. I was not at the bottom and I was nowhere near the top. That is OK too. I did a five minute cool down and then took a shower. My cardio for the day is done. 55 minutes of cycling total. My butt is not happy. I don’t think if I had a smaller butt it would make any difference.

So I am going to try and stay as strict to my keto as possible, Listen to my body and do whatever cardio I want. And continue to go to the gym at least three times a week to lift weights. Maybe this will shake my body into helping me get those 32 pounds off. My heart and my legs will thank me for sure, so will my jean button.  I also know that over the next couple weeks I’m going to be building much stronger leg muscles. So I am not going to let the scale bum me out. But I’m not going to let it go in the other direction either. I am

not going to use the holidays as an excuse.

It’s been a crazy couple weeks and I am sorry that I have not written more. But I am here. I have been answering messages when people have questions. And I need to welcome a few new friends to the keto team.

It’s almost like a 12 step program. It only works when you really work the program. And its not a quick or easy fix its a journey like everything else.

And like life, I am easily persuaded. I used to have a much more focused approach and am slowly finding my way back to a better self control.

But I am not beating myself up. You get so used to people being mean about being fat throughout life that

you start to realize that you’re meaner than they are to yourself. We are always our own worst critics.

I am going to enjoy finishing out this year and see where I land. This has been an amazing year.  I went to Nashville, had a freaking awesome time at the Jersey shore and went Disney and rode a roller coaster with my dad and went upside down for the first time with my nieces.  I went back to Florida and got the piss scared out of me at Halloween horror Nights and rode Hagrids Motorbike Ride 3x with the biggest smile on my face.  It takes some reminding sometimes that we are all on a journey.

No matter what remember, fuck the haters both in the real world and in your head, keep your chin up. You put your feet on the ground this morning. And you got out of bed. It’s all cake from here.  mmmm cake.

Embrace life. Embrace change and above all know and understand your worth!

Maybe I’ll reach back out on Thursday. I am glad that I blocked out 30 minutes to write this morning and catch everyone up.

And obnoxious Franco would like to remind you that summer bodies are built in the winter. Don’t wait till January 1 to make a change if that’s what you need.

Peace and love,

Franco