This is me STILL trying….

In November 1995 I was hit head on by a drunk driver on my way home from a gig. I spent a long time in the hospital, although I was already heavy I was nowhere near my max. I broke my hip and pelvis in a half. I had to relearn how to walk among other crazy things. My mom used to send me a card every year as almost a birthday present because I was still alive. I should not of walked out of that car accident. They were many, many times did I wish I didn’t, back then anyway.

I finally told her that she had to stop because I did not want to celebrate that day. I still know that secretly she did because she was happy that I was still here.

Today marks a different kind of anniversary. Seven years ago this morning, this blog went live, my Twitter went live, I got up. Put on a pair sneakers. Drove over to Franklin Mills with my new Nike fuel band, I did my best to try to walk the whole mall loop. I did not pull it off. I had a goal of 100 pounds to lose in a year. If you have been reading, creeping, or following along, you know it took me 15 months to actually pull off. But I did it. In a few months, I walked that mall 2x and somedays I even went back at night for over a year.

I am still out here trying my best. I’m still helping others around me. I’m still trying to be a positive inspiration.  Still blogging, still holding myself accountable, still have that hundred pounds lost. Some of it came back once but I made sure it went the fuck away. Now I’m doing my best to make whatever 2020 hit me with go away as well. It’s time to get to my final goal weight.

I can give you 10 million excuses on why I gained back 30ish pounds over the last year or so but I won’t. I deserve better than that from myself. Sooooo I am ready to re-commit to “all The things” I know I need to do.  I knew I must’ve been serious when I didn’t reach for whiskey on Sunday. I promised myself that I would not drink during the week. And trust me I wanted to. I sit down here in my basement, get bored and I all wanna do is either eat or drink or both. I am doing my best to stay in ketosis. So even weekend drinking will not be very much! 2 –  3 drinks tops and they have to fit into my daily calorie allotment.

Here are things that I’m going to do or change, my hitlist.
These are in no particular order.

While I might not be comfortable with myself the way I am right now because I knew where I had gotten, I know that I am better. I know that I can be better. I am straight fucking sexy right now but I can be better. I love myself now. I also can slip up very easily and go in the other direction. I will still love myself but I will be sad for sure.

Seven years.

Have you ever wanted to do something like this and actually committed for this long? I am proud of myself.

In a little over a month I will be 50 years old. “It looks like the end of the rainbow ain’t no pot of gold.” But I have everything I need. I am healthy.  The bills are still getting paid. The family is thriving. I can sit here and feel sorry for myself, but that’s just stupid.

Turning 50 doesn’t scare me. It does make you feel human when you realize that you probably have more years behind you than ahead of you. I did not want the usual surprise party or anything like that. I wanted to go away with most of my friends. I figured Nashville would lure most of them out and be a reasonably priced trip but with the way the world is right now that won’t happen soon. My wife texted me a few days ago  from work, we could go stay at the Hard Rock at Universal Studios Orlando and celebrate my birthday Harry Potter style. For a few seconds visions of a 50-year-old in a robe with the wand made me chuckle. Why the hell not? If women can have goddess parties, I can do this for sure. Then panic struck, what did I weigh last time I went? As I went fumbling through my phone to figure it out. I am about 30 pounds heavier. Well I fit in the seats on the rides. All those old, mental road blocks took over. Fitting in any airplane seat, all that stuff that I’ve talked about here.  I would literally have a month to prepare myself both mentally and physically. Crazy in this world that is my biggest fear, and not traveling in a pandemic.

We will see how this pans out over the next couple days. Do I go? If you want to contribute to the make Franco wear a robe on his birthday fund you can Venmo – @francosicilia – You will get exclusive access dorky 50 year old man wearing a harry potter robe all day photos.  Just think of al the memes you can make 🙂

The last few years I have hated making any kind of weight loss goal. I didn’t want to be a number anymore.  But when I look at my weight log I can tell you what size pants I fit in it that particular weight so It doesn’t bother me so much to say that in the next six months I’d like to try to lose 50 pounds. I have done it before and I can do it again. It takes self-control. Some thing that I have lost my way with recently.

Today I’m going to celebrate seven years. I’m going to take all the non-scale victories. Including the picture that is going along with this post. That picture on the left was taken on New Year’s Eve 2013 when I realize I really had to do something. The picture on the right was taken a few days ago at the gym. Still over 100 pounds lost. Still fighting. Still trying.

From a four and 5X T-shirt to a large or extra large.

From a size 58/60 waist for a 34/36 ( god I was a 32/34 for a few months)

From a 3xl underwear to a large/xl

From 5xl sweats to l/xl

From a Nissan titan because it was one of the vehicles I could fit in comfortably,  to a Dodge Challenger because I could!

AND 110Lbs still off my body……

All we can do is keep moving forward. A few of you guys I know still read this religiously from day one. I appreciate you very much. To my new friends along the way, I hope he find something to reflect on in all the craziness.

I am always here if you need anything. I appreciate you.

Thank you to all of my team Franco friends. It’s a great feeling when you don’t let yourself down, it’s a great addition when you don’t want to let your team down either. I couldn’t ask for a better team at home, the Internet, and the real world.

This is me STILL trying.

Into21!

Franco