Still Drunk

I hope you are ready for a good read. I always tell people when I write a long blog, that I will give them something to read on the toilet. I know couple of you are reading this on the toilet right now. Yeah true story. I hope everything comes out okay. Anyway.

In October I got to the 319 pound mark. My arm was feeling awesome after my injury. And I really thought that I was on my way to goal but things progressed in the wrong way. Here it is three months later and I’m 7 pounds heavier but I doing so much more and probably eating so much better. Where did I go wrong? What do I have to do to get where I want to get?

You have to try to remember that your only competition is yourself when you watch those around you making progress 🙂 or you find some blog of some crazy person including myself that shows so much weight loss, body shaping, etc. that it really starts to fuck with your head. Why can they do this? Why? I thought that I can do anything that anyone else can do. It’s far from easy, and they say this abs are built in the kitchen. No really they are, they seem to know a lot, maybe I should get THEY on #teamfranco. They seem to know it all. I unfortunately know nothing. But I do know my only competition is me and I am a fucking bitch to compete apart because no one tells me that I can’t do something.

I weigh 326.4 pounds today. My first goal is at 311. I have been consciously working on it since January 6, 2014. It has consumed me, taken over my relationships, completely changed the way I spend my day and made me totally rework my schedule. I have basically practiced a get on the train or get run over by an attitude since the beginning. Then right before Christmas while I was reflecting, I realized that I was doing this far from alone, that I had a team, and that I had to do something to thank them, which is where my #teamFranco tag and T-shirts kinda came from. A simple way to say thank you for being there for me. And I do realize that many of these people were there because I paid him, but the ones I am with, I am with because I realize that they generally care. I can find 500 other trainers and teachers that I can pay and they won’t really give two shits how about me as long as the check is clearing. But I think the couple trainers, and the couple things I do, truly care. Although I think they should want me to get under 300 lbs sooner sooner because I am a walking success story and I look good on TV 🙂  I have a sarcastic confidence this week.  I have been telling everyone that I am cute.  And they just basically laugh at me.

On Sunday night, I had a conversation with my wife about this stuff. She brought it up because sometimes I don’t see things that are right in front of my face. She has never liked me putting my stuff out on the Internet no matter what it has been,  and I usually don’t because of the band and the photo studio I usually have to stay happy, cheery, fun Franco. That Franco is was very good for business, the evil Franco that’s inside and we try to suppress very much it’s probably way bad for business. He’s the one that does not know the password to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.  Although I am pretty sure that he has made a couple guest posts here in the past year. That’s a big reason that this blog hasn’t been shared on Facebook yet.  I wanted to track a full year before I did and when I didn’t hit my goal I just thought I’d wait.

If you go back to the posts on the right-hand side of our page, you were able to go back all the way to last December 2013 when I started putting this all into motion. I knew I had to do something, and I knew that to be successful I would have to hold myself accountable. My journey was already in motion, and my plan had been hatched without really sharing it with anyone. My wife had come out to a show on her birthday and gotten totally tanked. Very, very, out of character for her, dancing on stage, mostly because she knew how much it would annoy me, egged on by people who also knew how much it would annoy me, so I did what any other man would do, took pictures. I also took pictures while she threw up at two different locations on the way home. And then I posted them while she slept it off the entire next day. Let’s just say that all was well until she realized that the final picture was her bent over a trashcan on 95 and her ass flailing in the air bent over. I was a dead man. And part of me didn’t give a crap. This is who we are, this is what it is, what are you going to do. I really was trying to be funny, not mean.

But the damage was done, and I hurt her feelings very much, anyone who knows me knows that  most of the time I use humor to hide my own insecurities, I love being the funny guy, if I am picking on you, I am like the second-grader who has a crush, and I like you very much.   If I don’t talk to you at all, most likely means I hate your guts.  Although I do not hate anyone so let’s make that I do not like your guts very much,  although the rest of you might be just fine.

We both talked about being at rock bottom, and having to do something. I showed her a website I was working on, showed her my blogs that I basically wrote while she was passed out. And waited.  I was already in hot water about her birthday now I’m going to answer change our entire lifestyle.

The first thing out of her mouth was are you sure you want to do this? I told her that I had no choice. I told her that I had to do something and while I wasn’t going to push the website out on Facebook anytime soon, because let’s face it, most of my Facebook posts are business in one way or another, I wanted to hold myself accountable, and at the same time someday inspire others. If by some slim chance in God that I can pull this off, I wanted to help others, even if my job is being an angel on your shoulder far away. I just wanted to get better.  Maintain. Inspire. A lot of people around me have been on this journey once before, and I didn’t want them on this one with me because I was deathly afraid of falling on my face. The less people than new what I was doing the better in my personal life anyway.

She looked at me, and said what are we going to do?  We talked about the different apps and eating and what had planned to get myself going.  We got Nike fuel bands to track our activity, I started walking, she started using T25 DVD’s.  And I guess that is how it all really started one way or the other.  I have so many fitness friends around me, Marathon runners, triathletes, Spartan race contestants, bodybuilders, personal trainers, the little by little the journey progressed.

I don’t mention my wife, who by the way is named Amber, my step sons are named Brandon and Brett, they are 22 and 20 respectfully. I have raised them since they were two and four. Everyone has their own journey. This blog is mine. It tells my story. My family has changed her eating styles. Has supported me, don’t classes with me, walked with me, supported me when I needed it and also yelled at me as well. They are the people behind the scenes that make a movie great. Amber has lost almost 60 pounds since we started, Bitch is right behind me what the hell.  She does most of the food shopping, So she buys me what I need, doesn’t complain too much about my frequent trips to Walmart and Champs Nutrition.  As much as she complains about all my sneakers, I don’t think she really cares because for the first time in a very very long time I am putting them all to good use.

No matter who you having your corner, it always begins at home, and I am

very blessed. So even though I don’t mention them very often because they’re on their own journeys, my team would not be complete without them.  The oldest still says boot camps are stupid and aren’t real workouts.  My ass and legs will scream different for sure.  Kids.  What do they know? Life hasn’t beaten them up yet.

I am looking into a few more things to add to my regimen, tomorrow I’m going to weigh in for a 45 day challenge with an $800 dollar cash prize which I could really use for all these classes that I am buying. And will most likely be starting flexible eating by my next post. Have to change things up.  My body is happy in size 44 jeans and xxl shirts.  My butt wants size 38s.  I do too.

I might not have hit my goal on time, but this story is far from over. Thank you for reading, thank you for being here, FTW!!!!  #TEAMFRANCO

Franco
http://about.me/sicilia – a jump page to all things Franco