I was going to do a video blog this week but I dunno. I would just ramble anyway so here I am again trying to put my thoughts to the paper. So I guess here it goes.
I have been sticking to my workouts. Trying to squeeze in more and more of them. Trying my best not to give in to the voices that want me to stop when I am at them and getting my macros in. I was so mental about food on Thanksgiving that I didn’t eat enough followed by another day or two that I didn’t eat enough. And of course when you are counting macros, you need to eat what you have to eat, otherwise the who macros for weight loss shuts down. What kinda fucking mind fuck is that huh? How do you tell a fat guy that if he’s not hungry he has to eat any way. Talk about rewiring the way that you have been thinking all your life huh.
I have been about the same this week then the last blog. The scale went up a little after the holidays from bloat and not eating enough and finally plunged a little this morning. This isn’t an easy way to eat for sure. It’s not for everyone. Sometimes I think just counting calories would be easier. But since when do I do anything easy. Right now I am on a 2000 calorie diet. I have to take in 175 grams of protein, 190 grams of carbs, 60 grams of fat and still try and get about 40 grams of fiber in too. Add that all up and hello 2000 calories. Please take the 1500 I try to burn every day directly off my ass if you can and thank you.
I am on track. I have hit them the last few nights. I have been drinking a gallon of water a day for over the last 3 weeks. I am working the god damn program. I really hope that it doesn’t let me down because I am really trying hard not to let myself down. And I am sorry for all the cursing sister. I know you read this off and on. I’ll try and not be so NE Philly. I mean I did move to the burbs and all. It is the Christmas season and all. I don’t want Santa to forget me.
I finally finished my right tattoo’d sleeve. This one was a doozy and something that makes me very happy. The top is Philadelphia how it looked in the 90’s. It’s the original Bigg Romeo logo and was done by my best friend Al. So now I have art from Al on me! He’s so damn created and this makes me happy. Everything on my arm is music related and while I know how it fits in some people need a little help. So the arrowed circle is the logo of a band Rise Against. The first and heart means to fight for what you love. I has a boxing glove made instead of a first…. with the banner underneath that says Forza… Fight… Strength.. In Italian. There is a song I loved called Forza Campione. The plus and minue we added in there take on many meanings but is a shout out to a current and newer favorite of mine, Frank Turner. His LP “positive songs for negative people’ is all time favorite for me. So tht finished my arm off. What a long road. But I owe myself a weight loss goal so I have to keep working on things.
I am not perfect. I post motivational quotes, songs, most of the time they are because I need the affirmation myself. I need that little voice to click inside my head to be better, be nicer, be kinder, give more shits, don’t judge, don’t hate. I need to be good to others and others need to be good to each other too. I don’t ever profess to be anywhere near perfect, The only think I can promise is to try harder. I want to be better. I want to get better. I don’t want to be anything other than me!
I hope going to Disney at Christmas time might give me a little Christmas spirit – being with my nieces should help for sure. I need a little Christmas.
I hope this finds you well I am going to sign off here. Let December creep in and take a deep breath. See you soon
Sometimes I swear you type what is up in this scary mind of mine. Hope you and Amber have a wonderful time in Disney with your nieces! Give your sister a squeeze for us!!!