Quarter Life Crisis

Do you remember in 2018 when you told someone really good news about a breakthrough you made and then all of a sudden the conversation went dry? Pay attention to that shit in 2019.

We are leaving people like that in 2018.

In 2019 we don’t want any of that negative energy around us.

I’m not kidding. We all have that friend who has wrapped themselves warmly with drama and no matter what you do, you will never compete with that. That is OK. If you are reading this, And you are on the team, we are all pushing forward. It might take a while, but 2019 doesn’t have any room for those people. I really think this 10 year Facebook challenge that is all over the place with photographs this week has me doing a lot of soul searching.

I definitely I’ve always felt that I was always the host of the party, and was the most alone. I have always been so worried about people liking me, to the point where it’s got me in trouble and also flipped my life upside down, that now my biggest worry this honestly, do I really like them? Are they worth my friendship and time or should I be trying to use that time in growing a different friendship.

It’s definitely something to think about. Friendships used to be like a gang. Police Department used to be brotherhoods. A team was there for you no matter what. You might be wrong, but the outside world would see a group of people that had your back to a fault. I think my relationship to my wife is like that a lot. I know I’ve written this before. But she will walk through the fires of hell for me. She will cut a bitch. I have seen her look at someone across the bar trying to yank at me onstage and ready to come flying across it, one to beat the silly girl up, and two to make sure I don’t fall off stage and hurt myself. She has defended me, when I was right, and also at times where I was definitely an idiot and wrong or stupid – and while the world got to see her defend me, inside the house I could get smacked upside the head, with the typical “what the fuck were you thinking”. But outside our doors, we’ve been a united front. There isn’t enough of that in the world today. And we are far from perfect. And I only bring this up because lately I’ve been seeing so many two-faced people floating around. Not just with me but with how they deal with others around me. I am definitely going to stop worrying about who likes me or not. It’s time to really give less fucks.

I have been ripping through books this month. The reason is twofold, it keeps me off social media and comparing myself to everyone else, and it also makes me think. I have been coaching a few of my friends along with their keto kickstart and with that comes great responsibility as well. No I’m not Spiderman. But I could possibly be Batman since you’ve never seen us in the room together have you? Anyway, sometimes I scribble little notes or sentences into my notepad so that I can expand them for my blog. With all the reading that I’ve been doing I’m going to start talking like Tony Robbins if I actually blocked all this crap. But the truth is I don’t want to tell you something here in writing and not believe it myself.

I want to walk the walk, I want to talk to talk. I was such a fucking baby at the Flyers game the other night. I wanted junk food all over the place and because I been having a rough week with the scale, I would have easily let myself go crazy. It’s all in the head isn’t it? I will have you know that I did not. But I bitched about it plenty.

So I think I’m going to take my notes and break them up over a few weeks. So that I don’t write this massive, preachy blog that I actually haven’t bought into myself. The things that I have written down, I will reflect on and bring them up as I believe in them more and more.

So this week let’s talk about keeping your online life in perspective.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snap Chat… The list goes on and on. These are wonderful mediums for keeping us all connected. But check your perspective. Are you enjoying yourself when you’re busy half the time taking multiple selfies because you just have to get that perfect angle? Posting the same thing across all mediums? It’s pretty hard to enjoy the things in front of you when your eyes are glued to your screen.

I absolutely get why we are all focused there: it’s because our phones are filled with those that we love and care about. Make sure you don’t miss out on life’s amazing moments. Nothing can replace human interaction. Nothing has the same amount of depth. If you find that you’re choosing to stay home on the computer rather and getting out and mixing with others, but maybe it’s time to hit the pause button.

If most of us accidentally left our phones at home most likely have a heart attack: OMG! Where is it? It’s not healthy. I am going to try to leave it home once a week.. Or just turn it off and do something outside. I don’t want to be a slave to it anymore. Everyone who was so used to me writing instantly back to them as just going to have to get used to it

If you find your happiness level is affected by the number of likes or Facebook friends you get, it’s seriously time to give it a rest. You’ll be happier for it. Right now I have a married older son who plots his social life around playing video games. We asked them to dinner tonight and his biggest concern was the fact that he hadn’t played his game a lot all week. Okay, one less meal we have to pay for. lol.

Look I’m no angel. I like my phone like the rest of them. I take selfies in the gym like everyone else. I like to have them on my phone and in my photo stream so that I could go back and find changes a year from now. As I looked through pictures from last week, I realize that I didn’t take half as many as I usually do. I didn’t post as much as I normally do, I’ve been using the story feature more on IG because if you don’t want to look at you could just skip it. And I guess just cause I take them I don’t have to post them as well. Whatever.

I guess this is long enough for a Friday post. Let’s get into the main reason that I write this stuff.

Coming out of the weekend I went up a little and then right back down to my lowest and I am still stuck. 2 pounds or so to break through. I’ve honestly so close to the next 5 pound goal and I’ve honestly been floating around the same 10 pounds since the beginning of December. I am frustrated, angry and ready to throw the fucking scale in the snow.

So of course last night the queen of brutal honesty, hit me across the head with a 2 x 4 on the way to the supermarket after we gymed. I am the lightest I have ever been since middle school, I am in size large shirt, can get into 34 waisted American Eagle jeans, I should be the happiest with that as I have ever been. And apparently I am frustrated and miserable. And while I don’t feel that way exactly, I guess that’s what I giving off to the world. So I need to reflect on that and do better. Amber and I both have small number goals – nothing crazy and not part of my years intentions or visions — and I am 12 pounds from mine and she’s no more then 10 from hers and then we are booking a trip to somewhere. Even if we have to charge it all for now to go. We are going. Mid-week if we have to. But I won’t even look into till we both get there.

I think a lot of my frustration this week might not even be because of the scale, I got word that the insurance company denied my appeal for the skin removal surgery saying it was cosmetic. They never once mentioned that rashes and or pain that it causes my legs. So now I have one fight left. One last appeal. It’s already ion motion. I DON’T GIVE UP!

Well I am going to practice what I preach and just keep sucking it up. Keep pushing forward.

I added some keto stuff to the keto section up there as well in case you were interested in how I “try” to eat.

Have a great weekend. As always feel free to comment. If you want me to leave them private just mention it in your message.

Franco