Paper Rain

In 1997ish…. I had heard about a doctor on street road that was helping people lose weight. Of course I was over 500lbs at the time and had nothing to lose. I went to see him and I wish I knew then what I knew then….

Basically he gave you some water pills, and a bunch of shakes that you had to of course buy from him. I am almost positive that those shakes ended up becoming the medi-fast program. And for the most part is a Dr. supervised weight loss program. Like most diets I lost 30 or so pounds in a month or two back then that wasn’t anything all that drastic for me anyway. And of course put that and then sign back on. There is nothing worse than having to drink three powdery shakes throughout the day. But that really just sets the tone of my actual story today.

Before any of this even happened I had to get weighed And none of the doctors scales went up as high as they need it to. The only thing the doctor could think of was going to St. Mary’s and stepping on the platform there that weights linens when they come in and out of the hospital. If you have ever been embarrassed about anything in your life, times that by 50 At the very least. That’s how how I felt as the tears came down my face. Amber and I were just friends then, but she was working at CDnow with Crabby and I and she went over there with me. I didn’t realize when the doctor told me to go to the loading dock that the dock was the scale. I needed a whole dock to weigh me. That diet failed of course.

20 years later I went into the doctors office this week and for the first time in, I dunno, forever when she said “I must get your weight” in her thick russian accent, i jumped up there like a proud peacock. I didn’t even take my jacket, wallet, watch and anything else on me off cause I knew that it was going to be much better than last March when I was in there. It was 53lbs less then my last visit in March. And it was 275lbs less then when I went to see Dr. Drink These Shakes.

I have learned a lot since then. I like food. You need to eat food to lose weight. You need to exercise and move. You need to eat less calories than you put in your mouth. No matter what you eat if you put your body in a calorie deficit you will lose weight. You don’t have to gym. It’s not for everyone. But then you have to do all the work in the kitchen then and it gets harder. I dunno. What do I know. I have had two friends this week ask me for help though and all I can do is lead them to the knowledge. I can’t cook for them. I can’t go to the gym for them. I can only help lead them to the facts and even then what works for me now, might now work for everyone. THERE ARE NO CHEAT DAYS. Not really. Not to get to a goal for sure. Ahhhhh. Anyway. The goal is really the journey cause in the end there is no real destination.

The doctors appointment went great. Still trying to get my blood work results. (Edit: dr just called.  think he’s amazed.  Lipids. Sugar.  All perfect)

This past Friday Night I got to hang out with lots of good friends, listen to some great music and drive my friend Scott’s Ford Explorer. I miss being that high off he ground when driving. Saturday we went to Kelly’s birthday dinner and then went to see the Hooters on concert. They were great. Crowd was a little freaky. OLDER and I felt like I was in a baptist church and everyone around me was having religious experience. Sunday we went to AC for Rock of Ages and it was AWESOME! I loved it.

I feel a struggle out there on the inter webs. It might just be the day light savings time change. It makes people funky for sure.

But no matter what there is hope. Needing help doesn’t make you weak. You are strong when you ask for it. Help is out there. We all need help You are not alone.

In 1998 I was 550lbs
In 2002 I was 290lbs
In 2014 I was 412lbs
In the last 5 years I am down 138lbs
I am down 61lbs in 2018
I am down 2lbs since last week
But who is keeping track?

I haven’t shared these numbers in a long, long time. But they are as real as this photo of Amber and I in 1999.

Make fun of my skinny jeans all you want. there are more reasons that I have them on then vanity. truth is my legs hurt. The loose skin is unbareable some days. After my 5K in September I couldn’t walk for 3 or 4 days because of the pounding of the loose skin on my knees and legs.
I am going to meet with a specialist in the city on Monday AM to see what they say and if we can do anything.

When I tried two years ago I was 60 – 70 pounds heavier. The doctor I went to see really didn’t even want to be bothered with me. I ended up getting denied from the insurance company. I fought it twice. They approved one leg, not two. I went to one more appointment and that doctor in Doylestown told me that 100 lbs that I lost was admirable, but come see him when I lost another 50. So I am down 160. Let’s see if this doctor who deals with a lot of weight loss patients will have the skills to get me approved. That’s the start. If I get approved I will probably shit my pants cause I would be really scared. But I have to at least get the information if nothing else.

My body is going up and down and that’s okay. I know the plan. I know the journey. I keep pushing.

I hit the gym this morning. Did cardio and after a sloppy set or two of leg extensions, I just left.

Too much on my mind. Too many things to put in order.

I hope you had a great week.  Great upcoming weekend and keep on pushing forward.

Franco