Okay so as I write this I am on day 9 of my Advocare cleanse. I want carbs, more carbs and a side of carbs. Yes, you read that right. I don’t eat a lot of veggies. So I am very limited to what I can eat. I am overdosing on chicken and turkey. But it’s only two days now. Friday morning I’ll be free. It’s just not for me. But I wasn’t backing down on a 10 day challenge. I’ll give you my results a little down in the blog. And I’ll tweet out my finals on Friday since I’ll be away from a computer.
Let me start by saying that I think Advocare is great. My adviser checked in with me. Helped me with questions. It wasn’t just a buy all this shit and have fun. Let me know if you want more kidna thing. She held my hand. But thank God tomorrow night at midnight that I an done. When I wake up Friday, I’ll weigh and the 10 day challenge will be complete. I can’t believe that I am almost done it. I won’t continue on to 24 their 24 day challenge though. It’s not the right thing for me. I think working hard, watching my calories and not depriving myself of things I like is the way to go. I am far too social to not have a drink or eat something at someones house that they prepare for me. I sure as hell can’t walk up to a catering hall and ask them to nuke my Tupperware for me. I am far more educated than I was years ago. I got this. But Cindy and the Advocare team helped me bust right through a plateau and I am sure I’ll try it again after the summer. I am glad to call her my friend. She works hard trying to help people change and I wish her nothing but good stuff.
If you are just catching on here.. I walk in the Franklin Mills Mall in Philly. One loop of the place and depending how you walk it, it’s 2 miles. I usually bust through it as a warm up and then head to boot camp. It takes me about 40 minutes total to do it. No big deal. Lately it takes longer because all the old mall walkers seem to want to know my story. If I miss a day they worry about me and wonder. It really should be me asking them their story. But it does put a smile on my face. They also carry no filters. The other day an old guy asked me why all my weight is in my middle. I told him I got it from my momma and walked on. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Shit isn’t easy. Life isn’t easy. If working out, eating healthy was easy… we’d all be okay, but we aren’t. I am not okay. Doing this cleanse this week after losing my Baci has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I am tired. I am worn down and I am void of feeling and just want to go outside and scream into the sky. I feel rage. I feel anger. I am snapping at people. I was nasty to one of my brides yesterday over email. That’s just not me. I feel a little better today. I just start crying for no reason or when I just feel that overwhelming feeling of loss. It’s brutal. What that fuck was a I thinking doing this? Father’s Day came and went….. ugh. All we can do is keep moving forward. Can’t Stop Won’t Stop. Sometimes you have to practice what you preach.
Well I’ve blabbed enough and this post is definitely depressing so let me give you some good news. Because honestly… I should be shouting from the tops of the mountains today. Ladies and gentleman we’ve hit 75 pounds lost. So that’s 13.4 during my Advocare 10 day challenge/cleanse and 75 pounds total since January. We have to keep pushing forward that’s all we can do. Happy Wednesday Everyone!