Nothing Changes

Don’t know why but I put shorts on to go to the gym this morning and had a panic attack (which I rarely ever have) and couldn’t leave the house with them on…. the loose skin at the knees just made me freeze. Might have to buy man capris or something. Or not wear shorts ever that seems like the better choice here.Screw the board shorts that I’ve always wanted. No beach for me this year. I’m going into hiding. It is just my luck, fix one thing break another. He seems to be the case in my life. Shorts?  FUCK IT IS COLD OUT ANYWAY!  SHIT!

Happy Friday. I guess the blogs are definitely getting pushed to Friday. Because life just seems to be happening and it is hard to keep up sometimes. Especially with work lately. And I have been given a ton more responsibility which hopefully will be accounted for in August when I get a evaluation. But until then. The freedom I had a few weeks ago is completely gone.

I am still pretty much floating around the same area on the scale so there isn’t much to report there. Clothes still fit. Still buying smaller sizes. Still getting my workouts in one way or another. Just pushing forward. That’s all anyone can do.

Our gym buddy Beth took Amber and I to the Sixers game last night. They lost but it was my first game and I had so much freaking fun. Definitely will be going to a lot more of them next year. Really contemplated some kind of Flyers season ticket plan. But there are just so many other things that I want to do with that kind of money.

We booked our return trip to Halloween horror nights at universal studios in early September. Hopefully it will be a good week to go since it’s like the second week of school for most kids. So other than a bunch of tourists from other countries or what not I don’t see the park being overcrowded. Got a really good deal at the highest tier hotel as well. First time will be staying at the Loews Portofino. I still think that the Hard Rock is my favorite, not because it was built like the building on the Hotel California album cover, But mostly because of all the cool rock ‘n’ roll stuff all over it. They also have a lot of legitimate Elvis things there.

All we need to do now is book airfare. Nashville in July is also booked. But everything for that is tentative depending on if work is going to send me to Las Vegas that week for Microsoft conference. We shall see. I don’t think they are going to so I’m going to take a vacation that week. I don’t want to save all my time for Christmas week and do nothing.

Not sure if I wrote about this but I had a towing hitch put on the Subaru outback and also bought a bike rack. You can all thank me for six more weeks of winter because apparently that’s what has happened since I put them on. Jesus. Kill me now. I was hoping to hit Neshaminy State Park on my lunch breaks to put some miles on my tires. Doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen anytime soon.

I really don’t have much to wax poetic about. Kinda been bummed out lately. But doing my best to stay upbeat and not let myself get the derailed. If you think that was going to happen you haven’t been around for the last year or so. Never ever ever bet against me. That I will tell you.

Then the voices in my head start.

I keep doing the work, but nothing changes.
Nothing changes easy.
There is nothing that you can take that hasn’t already been given, and quite honestly it didn’t help me then, won’t help now.
Be the change you want in life. FUCK. That’s hard.

Ughhhhhh.

Quick subject change.

Yes I want to come back in another lifetime as an Internet troll. These fucking nuts must love fights. Just sitting there picking on other people behind their computers. I think my first plan of attack would be everyone who post Memes about being awesome, doing great things, showing so much love, that actually do not Do any of the above. I would like to call out those motherfuckers quite regularly. But I don’t. I don’t even roll my eyes anymore because it does no good.

Nothing Changes.

Blue October has an awesome song called I hope you’re happy. I think I posted it here before somewhere but check it out. It came up on my gym playlist this morning.

If you go back to early blogs you’ll see that my musical tattoo sleeve was basically all milestones for certain pounds of weight loss. The Harry Potter one was not so much. But I added something to the musical side of my body with a little Philly twist on Monday to Mark 85 pounds that I’ve lost since last May. I hope you like a little gritty. How do I wrap that into the music part of my arm or you might ask? Philadelphia singer Dave Hause, Has a song called bury me in Philly. And that is what I had put under the flyers logo and Gritty! It does not really have to make sense to you, just me.

I have the night off from the band. Playing at the beach tomorrow which I’m excited about. Brett has his police test tomorrow which I am also excited about. Hopefully he gets to the next major milestone in his life soon. I think at that point I’ll be able to sit back and say I did a good job. We did a good job. My family is good.

I am looking forward to having Easter weekend off. I’m going to unplug it and disappear for sure.

Thank you very much for hanging in there with me. If you are on this journey. I hope you’re pushing forward as well. Breathe. I whine and moan, I want to throw the scale out the window most days. But remember that baby steps are still steps forward.

Ciao!

Franco