So I start this weeks blog 3 pounds down from last week. I am definitely thinking that the three day or so fast is the way to kickstart everything. I think I’m going to fast for 48 hours next week. And get myself in tune to have a little extra fun on memorial day weekend. If I can head to 235lbs I will no longer be obese on the silly ass BMI scale.
It’s really hard sometimes to clear your heart from the bullshit. The people that are busting my balls or mumble under their breath or have shit to say, You want to be the bigger person and sometimes it’s hard. But what do you expect from people? I read somewhere that an apology without change is manipulation. There is definitely a lot of that in the world anymore.
You can’t make excuses and you can’t blame people for not being where you are anymore. Getting your shit together requires a level of honesty that some people can’t even imagine. There’s nothing easy about realizing that you’re the one that’s been holding you back this whole time.
That’s OK. There is always time to rise above it. If you fail today. There is always tomorrow.
I am very much looking forward to the summer. I am very much looking forward to seeing my mom and dad this upcoming week as well. After this week I’m not really sure when I will see them again. They are both in their early 70s and I hope they are around for a long time. But as I get older and I watch people leave us, it definitely gives me anxiety. While being together used to be a major sign of stress for me, it’s much better now. I carry a whole different level of confidence, even around my dad. Although when I am around them it really makes me miss my grandma even more.
I had this funny debate with my dad last week who wanted to Bring me a dress shirt or two to Florida to wear for my nieces confirmation. I told him I was probably 16 or 16 1/2. The 17 I wore to the wedding was too loose. He kept tell me that I had to be wrong to go check the shirt. It just so happened that my son had a brand new size 16 ultraslim shirt sitting on the kitchen table. I put that on with no problem. The neck was just a little tight, so I figured a 16 1/2 would be perfect. I definitely did a happy dance around the living room on FaceTime while I showed my father.
Keep those non-scale victories coming as my body will soon hold onto this last 10 pounds that I lost for a while and my body will start to recomposition. Just seems to be the way it’s been going for the last couple months. Now that I know, Patience is the key.
Life is amazing. Then is awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing in the awful it’s ordinary and Mundane and routine. Breathe in any amazing. Strap yourself in and hold on when it’s really awful. Relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just life. That’s just living – heartbreaking, soul healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And guess what, if you’re really look at it it’s breathtakingly beautiful. My grandma woke up every single day of her 88 year life and thanked God for another day. On her last day, her coffee and breakfast was on the kitchen counter and the front door was open… she thanks him then too and then she went to meet her maker. That’s life. Are you living yours? Because if you wanna know what scares me the most is regret and not living.
Another thing to realize is make changes for you. Nobody else. If you’re waiting for a pat on the back, you’re never going to get it. Just saying.
I am heading to Florida on Sunday for a couple days to see my family. The best part about the whole thing is I have zero expectations. This way, I won’t be let down, I’m still going to stay keto. I’m still going to do my thing. I’m going to get to the gym at least two of the three days. I’m just letting it go where it’s supposed to.
A quick shout out to my wife this week! Thank you for being a great mom. You set the bar very high for those around you. You did an amazing job with both boys. And even though one is not here under our roof anymore you still guide and nurture and NUDGE him when needed. You are a constant positive influence on them and I am proud to be a part of it. We don’t play good cop, bad cop very well but that’s okay. But both are successful, happy and in the end happy is all that matters. Thank you for letting me be a part of the boys lives so long ago when i probably had no business with that amount of love and trust.
Happy Mother’s Day Amber!
Hope everyone has a great week and a happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there making a difference in their kids lives.
And this post is exactly what I needed last week. It’s been one of the most excruciating weeks of my life. But I can’t change people. I just honestly want the best for everyone past and present in my life. This speaks so true to right where I am right now. Owning where I have failed myself has been life changing. I’m gonna get that 50, darnit!!!! Thank you for all you do and all you share for little old people like me. #1fanforlife