Me, Myself and I

Me, myself and I do not see Eye 2 Eye most times.

I wonder when I love myself the right way will be enough.

It takes time I guess. I am getting old though so maybe I should figure it out sooner than later. Before it’s too late.,

I guess you could also celebrate “I like me”. I like me but  Who knows. Is that cool? Is that enough?

No one should Ever feel that they aren’t good enough. That they are second best, and are a priority in their inner circles lives.

Have you ever texted or called someone and they haven’t written you back yet but they have liked 15 pictures on IG – posted two stories and a post about their cat? You my friend are not a priority no matter how you slice it. I’m that friend a lot I think.

You hang around people and their phone never leaves their hand until you actually reach out or are waiting for them to reach out to you. I think my nieces are the worst. Being ignored, being invisible, is the worst.

I would like to tell you that all you need is me, myself and I. You can be your #1 cheerleader. You can, you will, BUT….   You can but it’s not true. I think people need people. I know I do. My stepson Brandon, he was built for this pandemic. Me not so much. I already worked from home most days but not the isolation seems to get to me.  And for a week or two after the summer I thought I’d just walk, stay active and keep moving but I felt like I was over doing it.

I think I have been overdoing it.  This weeks weight pretty much stayed the same and I have been going up and down around this months numbers every other day.  Walking.  Peloton.  Gym.  Keep moving.  Possibly.  Rest.  Unplug.  Disappear.

Last night at the gym, my old coach and friend brought up my legs and surgery again.  I had been beaten up and rejected enough by the insurance company that I had pushed it out of my mind.  And then of course I couldn’t sleep cause it was all I was thinking about.  I guess when I lose another 40 pounds I will start to look into it again.  I’ll be old as fuck by then but whatever.  It’s only money right.

Why live with something that you hate?  Wonder if he cause erase my butt too.  Then I can be a total Instagram influencer.  LOL.  Da Fuq.  I don’t know. I’m old. I shouldn’t be worrying about the shit at this point.

Tomorrow night the band gets back on stage after two months. It’s been over seven months since we played in Pennsylvania. Not sure what to expect. Not sure what I feel. I think at this point it’s safe to say I am going to post this, go to target and get a few things I need like sugar-free ketchup LOL. Hit the state store. Come home shower and get under blankets for a cold miserable night.

I wasn’t going to post anything this week because I was bummed out that the scale didn’t cooperate as much as I wanted to but it’s about the accountability right.

It’s OK to not be OK. Took me a long time that much I realize. Sometimes you just have to sit in silence.

Me.