Lost In Wonderland

I wanted to start by thanking everyone who posted on my Instagram, Blog, texted me, tweeted etc last week.  Even the best fall down sometimes.  And I’d like to go all Rocky Balboa on you and tell you about getting back up with you fall down but it’s freaking hard and I get it.  If it was easy then everyone could do it.  But I feel that the last week even more my self control was tested until Tuesday where something inside me snapped and I just pulled in the reigns. The truth is that it isn’t easy.  And it’s very mental. Falling hurts.  Inside and out.  And I am trying my best to stay motivated, refocused and content with the process.

This past weekend we played a wedding and I felt really in the zone.  I said all the right things to just about everyone.  It’s a great feeling when you were doing your job too well and people wouldn’t sit down when you asked to so that they could be fed.  We were asked by the catering company to just go on an early break so that they could feed everyone as fast as possible.  During the break, the bride pulled me aside to talk to me.  I had only met her  twice in the whole planning stage.  Once when she came to see the band and then once when she brought her family to check us out.  I am Facebook friends with a lot of my brides, grooms, their moms, sisters, cousins…  It’s good business.  It lets them see how we are excited to be working on their music, weddings, etc.  Well, I thought she wanted to talk about the rest of the night but she wanted to talk about me.  Me?

Standing in front of me in her wedding dress, she just wanted to tell me how great I looked, how proud she was of me and how even though we didn’t know each other very well that she’s been following me since the get go and that she was in my corner.  On her wedding day. DYING! No matter how crappy I had been feeling since my weigh in.  She picked me up.  That one moment picked me up.  Her small act of kindness made a difference in me. I was alive on the stage afterwards.  If I would have had more space I would have probably been a maniac.

The bride and I had been joking about having to miss the Taylor Swift concert (I know roll your eyes), for awhile so I knew in my head that I had to create a photo memory for both of us by getting her on stage for shake it off.  The photographer caught it perfectly.

I never take my tux jacket off at a wedding and it was so hot, and she made me feel so comfortable that night that I couldn’t help myself.  I was drenched.

So let’s talk about the scale this week and changes that I started to make.

I have been watching my portions.  Trying to up my protein again and just cutting out any drinks with sugar except for my coffee.  I can’t drink it black.  I hate fake sweeteners.  So I just have to work those calories into my day.  I am trying very hard to not let other calories creep in as well.  So I have been reeling things in.  I went to boot camp every day this week and including today have gone to 3 OTF’s.  I am going to try and get there more and more to finish out this month.  It’s a little bit of a hassle but I know that it helps and is definitely making my legs stronger.

On Monday, after the weekend I was at 315.7. – even more than last weeks weigh-in.  After all the encouragement that had come through I didn’t let it get to me.  I just sucked it up and did my classes.  Yesterday, it was 313.5 and it was going in the right direction at least.  And today, as the official weight in I was at 311.7 and back to my 101 total pounds lost.  So I not slipping away. I am not getting fatter.

There is no endgame.  This is life.  I am going to have to wake up every day and work out.  This is what I committed to.  Yes, I made it a weight loss goal.  But working out and eating better are really the only ways to get there.  So the journey continues.

Everyone’s fitness journey and story is different. Everyone’s story is important. It’s important to be happy that you get up every day. Ive been on a journey for over 16 months and it’s not easy but with great people around you it makes that ride much more fun. I wish I had more cash to get a batch of these made for the original supporters but I don’t.  Things are slow and protein, gyms and peanut butter aren’t cheap.  So I am going to put an order in tomorrow.  If you’d like one they are $15 dollars.  The women’s are Next Level apparel and they are soft as anything.  tri-blend.  You can even paypal the money to me at franco@egophilly.com – just add like $3 bucks if you want me to mail it to you.  I have tons of padded envelopes.  The men’s are from Bella and also soft.  So I’d like to put an order in by Monday so if you’d like one.  Please email me – franco@egophilly.com

I am running late like every Thursday so I better get out of there.

Much love to everyone.

KEEP FIGHTING!