I had a great visit with my family in NC. We got back Monday and Amber literally got in the car less than an hour later and had to go to Hershey for a few days for work. So it was a lot of traveling for a short amount of time. And a few days later it really bugs me that all I see in my head is my mama shaking. She was diagnosed with Parkinsons at the end of the summer and while we don’t really talk about it out cause you know we are Italian and we like to be strong… hide things… or pretend we are protecting others while we are really protecting ourselves more. But my dad and brother really have had to deal with it. I never really got to see it affect her but there she was sitting with an ice pack on her new knee, leg shaking and hands shaking with her phone in them. My mom has Parkinsons. There I said it and while she doesn’t really want it out there. This is my space. Not sure more than a handful of people read this so what the fuck is the difference. She’s can be strong when she wants to be.. She can do this. So many great photos from this past weekend that I wish I could engrain one of those in my head and not my mom shaking, answering text messages that wished her love and luck on her 50th anniversary. Well she is already lucky. I am her son. Duh.
I rented a Mustang cause why not and it was cheap. But I have never rented a car and gotten the car I wanted and this time was no different. I ended up with a loaded 2018 Camaro and it was nice to look at, okay to drive but it wasn’t for me and while I fit it wasn’t really a comfortable drive for either of us. So I guess even though I fit in spots cars they aren’t really for me. It was nice to be able to drive it, fit etc. That was an awesome non scale victory.
I did crazy cardio last week and workouts because I didn’t want to hold back last weekend and I didn’t but things didn’t really go as planned. We went to dinner on Saturday evening and my dad was excited. My brother and sister were stoked and Tony was getting Penne ala Vodka if it killed him, and of course I should have known something was up when the owner came over and took our menus from us. I watched my dad and he didn’t say anything so I figured that this is what he wanted and he knows us so it will be okay. OH NO IT WASN’T! Some weird cheesy bread came out first. Then a plate of pasta that just had a funky smell to it that turned out to be “Tomato Pesto” sauce. I wanted to eat that pasta soooooo bad. It was homemade but the sauce smelled to me and I just couldn’t overcome it. Even better there was two bones with meat on them in the plate. And none of us knew what the hell kinda meat it was. And my sister was trying to eat it cause she was starving. If you know anything about my Italian Sunday dinners you know that I wasn’t eating any special meat that no one knew what it was cause my dad was ruthless for letting us eat something and then telling us it was lamb or even worse, rabbit. Just say no to meat covered in sauce. They looked like something pulled out of the Flintsones. We were laughing so hard and it wasn’t funny…. My dad didn’t even touch his plate. He pushed it aside. He was upset. This WAS NOT what he wanted. I went to sit with him and he was upset. The chef/owner came out and my dad was polite and told him he’d like a little veal…. What he’d looked very forward to. Well veal never came out. There was another course.. . It was roasted potatoes and filet… in a marsala mushroom sauce. Sorry.. after the first course… I couldn’t really get it down. All the working out and cardio and I wasn’t getting that meal either… FUCK. And dad was upset, my sister went home and we took out cheese, and Italian shit and bunkered down. I know the guy was trying to be nice and make it fancy… but he didn’t even ask if anyone didn’t eat mushrooms or pork etc… Or meat… for that matter. After church on Sunday we went to Texas Roadhouse and ordered off the menu and it was a beautiful thing.
Monday we said our goodbyes and I was right back on the wagon food wise and back in the gym on Tuesday. I pretended Tuesday was Monday cause I just couldn’t bear to come home and put Luna back in her crate any longer. I am getting soft in my old age.
Tuesday I worked out and then had a tattoo appointment. Wednesday I worked out… then had rehearsal. Amber came home. Thursday I trained with coach and went on a brodate with my BFF to see Bon Jovi and ya know what I had fun. Woke up and did fasted cardio while working at the gym and then arms and shoulders. Tonight the band is local, tomorrow, not so much.
I got on the scale yesterday and I’m at a good place. No I am still not telling you right now ☺ but things are moving. I didn;’t know what to expect after the weekend and then the tattoo. That always seems to inflame me a little bit. I am gonna do my best to stay the course this weekend and have a great weigh in next week.
So much more I wanted to say… things on my mind about friendships, working out etc but this seems like it’s getting ling enough so let me just talk about one more thing… cheat days… seriously what the fuck is a cheat day and who came up with the idea to make it all better. You can undo an entire weeks hard work with a cheat day. It’s a cheat meal and even then needs to be sensible. Calories in vs. calories out. You can’t out hustle a bad died or a case of twisted teas over the weekend. Trust me I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. That’s all I got. Continue to do you cause in the end we’ll all be in pine boxes alone doing ourselves. (Don’t be a sicko). Here I am still fight for the 4 square feet of land that I rather not buy anytime soon. Be smart. Have fun. Make good choices.
Still trying to get better.