I don’t know sometimes what to say. I know. Who the fuck am I? I am never for a loss for words. I’m usually very honest here. I’m not sure if I am anywhere else online. I’ve always meant this to be for me and while I let people know through Instagram that it’s out there when I update it I don’t normally like to talk about it. Once it’s out there it’s out there.
Sometimes it’s never quite enough.
Since my last blog I spent a day in the hospital getting ultrasound on my leg to make sure that there was no internal bleeding. A few days later I ended up at the orthopedic surgeon and I’m pretty sure I mentioned it in my last blog I have a torn left calf. Here we are over two weeks later and I’m still in a lot of pain. I am not one to take pills nearly Willy so that’s not happening. So most of the pain is usually at night in bed. I’m getting by and doing my best. The one thing I will say is while in the hospital they made me get on the scale. That could’ve went a lot of different ways but it was nowhere near where I wanted to be. That was on September 8 or ninth and I will tell you that at this point after getting my shit together and getting back on a strict keto diet how many down 13 pounds and a few pounds away from being under my hundred pounds lost again. I did not like being in two digits lost again. Talk about feeling like a loser. And not a loser in the good sense. I didn’t go crazy on vacation with food. The biggest thing I did was have two ice cream cones because fuck the World the ice cream is good at Universal Studios. I got the Bubba Gumps and had a few of my favorite drinks, But I struggled a lot with endurance and pain in my leg. Kind of felt like I was bumming everyone out. Probably the last of my big group vacations.
I did get to do nine out of the 10 Halloween horror night houses, And let me tell you I’m trying to figure out how to get there to finish them up. I would love to go with you the last one. They were so freaking cool.
I did give myself plenty of downtime. If I was healthy this would’ve been the perfect vacation. Not a lot of running and going but I did go to see Halloween horror nights and I wanted to make sure that I did.
And I came back on Friday and rested more and more all week long and woke up Monday morning and started hard-core strict keto. I have been inner minute fasting with a 16 hour window as well as limiting alcohol and artificially sweetened drinks. Since I got on the scale at the doctors office, I’m back with the eye of the Tiger, most of it was to go to Nashville and see Chris Stapleton but I have canceled our trip because airfare is through the roof. It is really bumming me out because I really wanted to see him. And everybody would’ve went with me but it would probably hurt everyone’s bank account and I don’t want to do that. I bought the vinyl and I’ll probably buy the poster from the show I was supposed to go to and I will be it. So if I can pull off a universal trip before Christmas for a few days cheap I’m going to. But I am a little heartbroken I can see my country man crush. He has single handedly gotten me through Covid and he sings like a bearded angel.
The band is doing OK. Our new guitar player is working hard. We are doing our best. Everything seems well received. I can’t wait to throw some new music down. But playing with new people makes things a little fresher I guess. The Safetynet is gone for a while and you just have to work your ass off that much more. But I am overwhelmed and I haven’t even started 2022 club bookings. But that’s on my list to get going for next week. I finally bought a calendar for 2022/2023.
Changes. Changes. Changes.
I made it to the gym a few times this week and while I can’t do too much cardio I am really trying my best to dial in the diet.
I am going to try the elliptical next week for 10 minutes at a time before lifting. It’s usually non-weight bearing and should help a bit. It’s not gonna burn 700 calories but it will be more than I am doing.
I’ve been in the office a lot this week and so much for working remote! We did headshots in Wayne and had a team lunch that most of the team I wanted to talk to were on call after call during. I know you have to make customers happy, I know there is money to be made, but then don’t do lunches etc. I guess I am struggling with the balance of remote work, talking to myself or the dogs, and basically living behind a phone or computer to make a living. The Director of marketing was surprised that I am out calling on customers. I think it’s mostly cause I think other people are like me. People need people. That’s the end of it.
I have been living too long inside my head. And I am doing my best to get out of it. Since I have blogged last, 4 people around me have passed away. Friends from the band. Friends from the gym. Life is too damn short to regret anything. Clarence Clemons said it best, order the good wine.
thanks for reading.
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