Hate Me Today! Hate Me Tomorrow!

What is your biggest regret? When you get to the end of the line, what will be the thing that bothers you the most. I don’t know why but I’ve been thinking about it over the last couple days. It was probably someone’s stupid ass meme that tripped me. But in any case that will start this weeks blog entry.

Honestly ask yourself this. What if we get to the end of our lives and wonder how much better life would have been if we would have just shown up for it. Think about it. I’m not talking about how many selfies you’ve collected so that the boards at your funeral will be full. I don’t need a funeral, Burn me, sprinkle me over the ocean, I will forever be there. Shit, I’ll be in your bathsuit 🙂 whatever.

I think that while others may see me living a full life I don’t quite feel that way. I think I missed out on a lot of things and have been trying lately to get back on track. Places I want to see you, travel, spending time with people that really matter in creating memories. Creating stories for people to tell about me when I’m gone, I think is more important than whatever the phone may hold.

I’m tired of fighting for friendships. Most of the time they end up being one-sided friendships anyway.

People always tell me I have thousands of friends. Life is not about that. It’s about finding the very few that you need. That’s what makes life better.  I always say this about Amber, and I have quite a few, actually even though sometimes I think you only need one, but I have friends that will walk through fire for me. And I Would for them as well.

Take a deep breathe and think about it.  Are the people in your inner Circle not only the ones you trust with all your secrets but also the ones, that even have your back even when you might not be right, aren’t afraid to tell you that you’re wrong, but will fight with you no matter what.

If you’ve ever been let down or made to feel insignificant, let that be your strength. Your superpower.  You are a fucking super hero!

Stop here.  Think about it.

Let’s talk about my week a little and then we’ll get in even a little deeper.

Easter weekend came and went. Sometimes the best plans are ones you didn’t have to begin with. We had a great day with my friend Chris on Friday and Saturday Amber painted the guest bathroom, I donated four bags of ridiculously big clothes. And then we went out for the day with some friends from home. It was fantastic. There may or may not have been a naked Jeff sighting. ( Who are kidding, yes there was)

After a nice walk on Easter Sunday we came home.

I fell off the wagon a little bit over the weekend. Just too much going on and just way too many amazing smells on the boardwalk.  I’m not making excuses I knew what I was doing.  But because I am honest here is a list:

• Mack’s Pizza 1 slice
• Curley’s Fries
• Firehouse Pizza
• Wing Dings
• Twix Bar
• Inlet on Old Bavarian Pretzel
• Chocolate Cake
• Bag of Popcorn

So even the best fall down sometimes.  Monday’s weigh in….  UGH. FML! I ate Keto on Monday and went into a fast.  Do you want to know how strong you are…  Fast.  Yeah.  I haven’t eaten anything but water, chicken bouillon and a few pickles since Monday Night at 7pm.  At 1pm today when I break my fast I’ll have hit 66 hours.  the most I have ever fasted is about 28 hours by accident when I was doing a 24 hour fast.  The fast itself is not really for weight loss although it looks like it brought me down about 6-7lbs this week and back into the low 250s.  And yes…  Sooner or later I will see 249 on that mother fucking scale. The fast was a lot easier with Amber being out of town and not having to cook much for Brett.

The best part of doing this since last summer is that I am fat adapted and got myself into ketosis again pretty quickly.  So there is that.

And at 1pm I will break my fast with some eggs and get myself together for tonight’s Best of Bucks gala.  The band is preforming.  We’ve won now for 8 years straight.  Avengers date tomorrow.  Wedding Saturday (bought a new blue suit off the rack) and then 1 show and we do it all over again.

I am still here.  I am still trying and guess what I am still tweaking the program to work for me.

Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If you love me, I will always be in your heart, and if you hate me, I will be in your mind.

I have had a rough go lately with some friendships.  Some are easier to walk away from then others.  Little by little you have to make peace with it.  There is nothing else you can do. You can be hurt.  You can scream it from the mountains.  (Some of my friends till don’t hear what I am saying.)  But in the end the bolded quote about makes sense.

I am letting go of some of my hate (it’s a strong word to some but it’s an intense dislike, we all have intense dislikes….  don’t fucking judge.  We all do. I hate vegetables and anything green food so there 🙂

You can hate me. You can go out there and say anything you want about me, But you will love me later because I told you the truth.

I hope this week finds you well.

Much love –

Franco