We hold onto anger and resentment way too much. We all have had negative experiences with people and grudges we hold onto. This takes away our focus, OUR power, and gives it to someone else where it doesn’t belong. I have said this to so sooooo many people in 2019. We give soooo many people that power over us and our heart, minds and well-being that don’t deserve it. Exes, Baby daddies, Mamas, employers, co-workers and even close family members. When we finally forgive and let go, we give ourselves the chance to find peace and move on. When we let it the fuck go, we find peace. And I have been posting so much about having a peaceful heart, that I think that’s the biggest take away for this year as we roll #into2020.
It’s about forgiveness. Forgiving yourself as well as those who hurt you or you have anger towards will bring you a new freedom. The resentment we feel may be valid, fuck I get taken advantage of at both my jobs, we like to think it helps us against the other person but that doesn’t mean we should hold onto it. Resentment holds no purpose in our minds or hearts and It doesn’t serve us to hold onto something so dark. We think it helps us, we build the wall – but the reality is that now that person occupies space in our mind. We gave them power. They don’t deserve the space.
Jesus the power of Italian guilt, even when it’s self-imposed.
The goal is to find inner peace, a peace in our hearts. We’ve been hurt, we’ve lost loved ones, we get taken advantage of, we get taken for granted. Ugh. Listen. We don’t have to forget, but we can forgive and push aside past interactions and experiences. This takes away the power we give to other people and gives it back to us. Indifference is better than hate. With this, we don’t worry or focus on others, but rather ourselves. We are enough and we deserve better.
When we don’t focus on other people, what they did to us, or how poorly of an experience we had with something, we give ourselves the opportunity to be in the moment. This removes stress from the past and anxiety from the future. We give full control to ourselves to live and not think about anything else. I think many of us need to take that living into 2020.
Letting go and giving forgiveness is not easy. I can get over something pretty quick, but letting it go or pushing it out of my head is something else. It takes time, effort, and a lot of emotional work, but the benefits of having peace and freedom are worth it. Our mental state drives everything. When we focus on ourselves instead of giving power to others in the form of resentment and grudges, we see a new world of possibilities.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.
Yeah that’s deeper than hey I got a Peloton and look at me in the gym but it’s a lot of stuff from my phones notepad and it took quite a while to push out. So I hope it helps a little. It helped me to write it.
Christmas is stressful and it’s a fucking day. One! Although so many people make it 2 weeks long with the millions of different family parties etc.
I have been watching a friend with a few kids struggle and write about some of it on FB. Questions that haunt her.
- Is she doing enough?
- Did she get the right present?
- Will her kids be happy?
- How will it compare to the other things their friends got?
- Will they hate her when they get older?
- Can she make this christmas perfect?
- What will make this Christmas perfect?
We all have those same thoughts don’t we? I know I was stressing about it before Thanksgiving. My wife before I met her sacrificed to make sure the boys didn’t want anything and then when I game a long I did my best to make sure she didn’t either. 19 years almost later… What the fuck am I supposed to buy her? We bother have settled into the jewelry we wear on a daily basis. I shot that load in the first three years. We kinda buy what we want or what we need when the timer comes. If she wants new shoes in October I don’t tell her to wait till December,. I just get the damn shoes or she gets the damn shoes. Christ, I’ve been on “Buying probation” for a month now and still have two pairs of boosts I snuck in that were on sales. She knows. She’s not stupid. I mean she married me right?
But I still worry. I like the Christmas morning feeling. I spend a lot of time making sure there is a little thought behind something and not just hey this was on some amazon sale. I hope it doesn’t end up on the bottom of your closet. I think we need to find a quality over quantity folks. And I think we need to figure out how to buy and gift more experiences. And guess what folks….. just being present sometimes with your phone away is a major gift in this day and age and you can’t buy that on Amazon.
I love the internet chirping about a photograph of my wife and I in matching pajamas. And for the longest time I didn’t fit in any pajamas you could buy anywhere. Definitely not any pajamas that I could wear ever. Now that it is far from a problem. I work from home, I can live in pajamas most of the day. Don’t wear them to bed or anything still, sorry kids, the pajamas are still one of those non-scale victories. And they are just as important as pounds on the scale. And we have new matching ones for xmas eve for everyone so there is that. So yeah. I don’t give a fuck! Don’t be jealous.
It’s Christmas. I get cranky. I also do my best. That’s all you can do.
Oh – weight loss – the fuck I forgot what I am supposed to be writing about.
Let’s talk magic number. Trumpet please….. 26! Magic number is 26. It’s better than 35 a few weeks ago and still better than 30 before Thanksgiving.
I am doing my best to get 10 miles under my sore butt on the Peloton a day. I am trying to actually eat a little more because I think it really is time to do a little more of a reverse diet and I will do one for sure once I hit my goal. That will be interesting. I am hitting the gym 4 days a week still. BOOM!
I put a lot of stuff to think about out here. So take it all in. Forgive others. Forgive yourself.
Rock on with your bad self.