Let me start this by telling you that this kinda came to me while listening to Sia’s cover of the Bleachers “Like a River Runs”. You might want to play while reading. It’s hauntingly beautiful.
Dear Franco –
I woke up thinking you were still here
My hands shaking with regret
I’ve held this dream for such a long long time
And I wanna get up
To the rhythm of a wild, to the rhythm of a wild heart
That beats, that beats like a rolling drum
You do know that you scare me. You do know that this isn’t like every other time that we’ve tried to do this. This time it’s been different. It’s been very different.
I saw you standing on the corner
I saw you standing on your own
And I get the feeling that it’s, it’s all a dream
And I wanna get up
To the rhythm of a wild, to the rhythm of a wild heart
That beats, that beats like a drum
You have never been alone. People have always rooted for you and had your back. Your loved ones, your family have been there. Some of them got tired of the weight loss pills, the shopping carts filled with change. Although they were also filled with hope, after a few days, temptation over took you and just like an addict. You and I were off feasting on Mountain Dew, Cheetos and Kit Kats. I had you tricked into thinking you were alone. But you weren’t. You have never been. I’ve been here. We’ve been here.
When I fall asleep I can see your face
What I lost in you I will not replace
And I could run away, I could let them down
But I will remember your light
You have something special Franco, but you’ve always known that. There is a light that shines from you and people either love it or hate it and you can’t control that. All you can control is you. You’ve let others shut this light of on you. You gave up too easy and I helped you feed into it. It’s still in you screaming to come out.
Your light it follows me in darkness
I’m trying hard but I can’t win
And I’ve played the victim for a long long time
And I wanna grow up
From the rhythm a young, from the rhythm of a younger heart
It leads just like a river runs
You look in the mirror and you see 1995 Franco. He’s been gone for a long time. 450lbs. Broken pelvis. Broken hips. 6 months in traction. Walking with two canes. Starting over. Depressed. Alone. You have to change who you see in the mirror. You started to let him come back a few years ago. And then I showed you something on stage one night and then this happened. And although we’ve seen 550lb 1999 Franco and 280lbs Franco in 2002. All of these have had your light. They’ve held your passions. You show people one Franco and in your head your a victim. You are stronger than that. You’ve set out to do everything that people told you that you couldn’t. You are far from a victim. I won’t let you be. Asshole.
It’s funny though. The guy who called you a fat shit on stage a few years ago now bitches about all your gym posts on Facebook. Which Franco do you want? Which one is better for your business?
I hope you know I’m not alone
I carry you with every breath I take
I won’t let up, I won’t let up
Until the wind is gone
Looks like music speaks to you the same way it does for me :). There’s so much music out there that almost feels like it was written just for me. It’s amazing how a song can empower me, inspire me, change my mood, or even change my outlook on things. This blog is very powerful and your very brave to write and publically share your story. 🙂