Closer to the Sky

A few Mondays ago, time is a blur. I posted a gym selfie, nothing new for me, and then a picture of the Peloton. Yes that horrible bike that everyone is talking about on the Internet because her husband bought it for his wife for Christmas, that bike. What a dick. lol.

My long time friend Dave quickly messaged me two things. It took me a little bit by surprise because he had just posted a photo of him in the air on the way to London for his work. But then I read it and giggled because he was busting my chops about the bags under my eyes and a gym selfie, but then followed it up with hey dude is the bike really worth it.

I was angry at him to be honest with you. Dave was the sound man and the band leader of the Rockets. And a few nights before I was texted by people that Bigg Romeo (my band if your are new or didn’t know) was taken off of my agents website. Although we’ve been having problems for months and almost years if you really want to think about it, I figured it would would at least be a conversation before any of this happened. After 24 years not only was I entitled to one, so is the band. We all deserved that much.

But no matter how much anger I had inside me I was really good, thank God. I kept business and my personal life separate for one night. Maybe it was just the fact that I have done so much damn exercise that day, I was in a decent mood. I don’t know. But I answered Dave’s questions. And we left it that we would talk when he got home.

Unfortunately, the next day he passed away in London England. I am so glad that I did not go at him with my anger. And if you don’t understand why, I was told that he was the one who pulled us off the website for the “company“. I am so glad that I just rolled with our daily conversations of keto and diet and exercise. I never even mentioned the band going back-and-forth with him. I just thought it was cool that he was in the air and was able to message me. I have never been on a flight yet that had Wi-Fi readily available.

He was a little younger than me but only by a few months so with word from England that it was an apparent heart attack, I still haven’t fully wrapped my head around it. Not to mention it’s been almost two weeks and his body isn’t back in the US yet. There are other circumstances and I think about it now as I am typing and it’s just not real. I am still at a loss for actual words.

He was literally a fan before there was a Bigg Romeo and now he’s gone and I have no idea what is realy ahead of me. Maybe he was protecting me from the get go.

Rest easy Dave.

Fuck me!

I have the Peloton right behind my chair in the living room. It’s a reminder to me that works needs to get done. I just can’t wish to lose 30 pounds by March 1st and find my final weight loss goal magically. There is work involved in getting there. The scale has been harder to move then I thought it would be but in the end all we can ever do is our best and keep plugging away. The bike measures your total output. That’s how it grades you, handles your personal records etc… Orange theory works on calories burned. I tend to look at calories burned more than my total output. Your output is measured my your cadence and your resistance. Well I am not bad at the resistance part these legs don’t want to spin over 100 cadence much lol. But I am getting there. And above all , I still made it to the gym to lift weights 4 times this past week. By the time the week ends I will have 85 plus miles under my butt too. I think that’s really how I am gauging all this and that’s in miles rode per month and maybe calories burned. Who knows.

It is definitely an amazing de-stressor and I am glad to have it right now. I am plugging away a lot at getting the band work, weddings have come in and closed smoothly. It seems that almost everyone in the band has shit going on so I just keep working at what I believe is the best for everyone and I plug and plug away. It is a very humbling experience putting a club or someone at a higher priority than they have you. You see it very quickly as you wait for return calls or replies but that’s this horrible business.

Wish I could catch you up on the last two weeks properly but it’s a blur…. went to the shore…. went to the Flyers game… Booked a trip to the Bahamas with my peeps for March. Excited for the holidays and a few more surprises up my sleeve. Phoenix, Ambers Brother, the Flyers out there. And then summer…. it’s coming.

Thanksgiving was nice. No complaints. Very whiskey filled too.

I think I need a little Christmas and am going to spend part of my Sunday getting the house together for some xmas love and then head into the city to see some of the light displays that I want to see and will run out of time getting to if I keep putting it off. I really liked the house/living room done last year so much that I would turn the lights on early afternoon just for me. So I will have to tackle that sooner than later. Hopefully the bathroom remodel will be closer to a finish by morning.

I posted this photo and caption under it on IG this week and it has 900 likes. The most I have ever gotten. That’s cool and all. What really is important is the change inside me that one picture has from the other.

Seems like a lifetime ago but this is the progression over 6 years. Well these are six year apart. The left is my friend Kristens sisters wedding band was playing a little over 6 years ago and right – last week. I’ve been beating myself up lately and as I get ready to think about 2019 and what my vision is for 2020 I thought it was important to not look at the numbers on the scale but to actually see where I came from: #transformationtuesday