“If you could only see…. All the things I meant to be…” – the Affordable Floors
Well I hate numbers which is probably why I practically have my masters in English and nothing to do with math whatsoever. But it’s get to the numbers this week. 354.6 is this mornings number. 2 pounds less than last weeks number. I am happy and at the same time can’t help but want to feel a little anger cause I just want to be be at 350 and get to my next goal. Sitting around 360 for a month was “no bueno”. But little by little. It’s a life change not a race. And I am changing.
When I started in January I had just bought a new pair of jeans for my New Years Eve show. The shirt was a 4xl, so was the vest. The pants were size 60’s. I bought 56’s a few weeks ago and went Friday and the 54’s are loose already so I bought a pair of 52’s and 50’s. I don’t really need to get dressed into jeans until May 14 or so when I go to Hershey to see Springsteen so I am not really worried about it. I’ll be rocking the 52’s in no time. I was at the Philadelphia Premium Outlet’s yesterday and bought a few world cup shirts and got 2XL and I am almost there. By the time the world cup starts in late June I will be rocking the Azzurri. So it’s not all about the scale. I know it’s the major judge. But there are other little victories to win too. And slowly but surly I am getting there.
My dad made me a black suit about 2 years ago. It was supposed to be for my baby brothers wedding. The wedding never happened…. (and for the best cause my brother deserved better) but not long after this suit came int he mail from my pops. It didn’t fit. It was from a older pattern of my body that my dad thought would be close. I remember being so upset cause I realized it would probably be the last thing my dad made me from scratch as he gets older and he has less and less time to do things like this. I had to try it on the other day. I was a t boot camp and a little down about my progress and kept thinking about that suit. It’s way too big now. It’s pretty amazing. I need to go to my aunts to have it taken in. So as much as the scale ends up being the judge in the end… I can be a little less hard on myself this week because other numbers that are also important to me are changing as well.
It’s a catch 22. I made a goal to loose 100lbs in a year. That takes me really to January 6th 2015. That’s the day I woke up and all this started. But in 4 months when you hit over 50 pounds you start to want the 100 to come quicker. But you also know in reality that you are going to have those months where getting a few pounds to come off it hard. Very hard. I hope to be at 345 by Memorial Day. We will see. I can’t do much more than what I am doing.
I hope that the summer brings some family time with my brats… my siblings… my brother… and my nieces… (and god daughters). I should be able to have a much more active summer for sure.
So we’ll shoot for another 2 pounds this week. We’ll be reasonable but at the same time we’ll shoot for the moon.
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