We ask a lot of ourselves most days. I managed to get 1 WHOLE pound off this week so I am at 305lbs today. I just want to be back under 300 so badly. It’s frustrating because I am doing “most” of the right things. I mean in the end I am human and let’s face it. My self control has taken a beating since this time last year. But I’ll take the pound lost in stride because I know my body is starting to sculpt itself. I had a great week with lots of fun and in the end I lived life a little. I also know what a pound of fat looks like and it’s a bigger deal than most people really think. And I know how much sweat went into it. So honestly all I ask of you if you are on your own journey is to be kind to yourself. Chances are if you are like me that you are super nice to everyone on their own journeys… supportive… loving… and then you beat yourself up. So be nice to yourself. You personally deserve it. That’s all I ask of you this week. You have to let it go where it’s supposed to and while you are being kind to those around you (which trust me I know is already asking alot) be kind to yourself.
This weekend was my last one at the shore. I got to run around Wildwood a little and then said goodbye. It was a quick trip but nice. Sunday I spent the day on the soccer field and evening at the Valley of Fear with my Dan Campos Peeps and UGH family. It sucked. I scare easily and I wasn’t scared.
Columbus Day since college has always been about my college best friend and brother Carl calling me bright and early and cursing me out in a steady stream of anti-italian and anti-Columbus thoughts. I always looked forward to those calls and miss them very much with his passing. On my living room wall hangs the final birthday present from him, the cross silver cross and Native American protection symbol. He had two feathers, I have one and his son Conrad has the other. He passed 9 days later. I don’t know the name of it right now but I have the letter where he explained it all to me. I think he figured I needed as much protection as I could get so if Jesus couldn’t do it the Indian spirits would pick up the slack. Happy Columbus Day Tonto! You silly German Johnstown Pa Redneck!
Monday, in honor of Columbus Day, we went to boot camp, and then record shopping on South Street. I had my first Fat Tuesday fruity girly drink too and then hit the Wells Fargo for the Flyers. I fit in the damn seats too but still not enough leg room honestly. That shit is tight on the knees. The person in front of me has to hate me. But I FIT IN THE DAMN SEAT! The Flyers shut out the Panthers. I got a few used records and it was a good day! Oh and I fit comfortably into an XL jersey so there is that too.
I have a lot of respect for my running friends. I saw this shirt at Nike and had to have it. Not Running Sucks. It’s amazing because sometimes I want to try and be a runner. I like being alone sometimes. I can get lost in my own head like the best of them and I love music and other times I’m afraid hurting myself like so many of my friends do. I’m not sure my body was built for running so not be able to run sucks, not running sucks, and all of the above. I want a Rocky run medal dammit. So who knows. Thank god it’s too damn expensive to just do the damn 5k for the medal. Maybe I’ll just steal one.
Rocky Run? Maybe next year.
Let’s talk about a few non-scale victory things. I have these Nautica jeans that I love. I have bought a pair in a few sizes. I bought a pair of 40’s a few weeks ago and I can get those fuckers on and buttoned but half my butt is sticking out and I sure as hell am not sitting down. The pair I wore on stage this weeks was a very loose 46. So I ordered a pair of 42’s to get me to my size 40 goal. I think that’s part of the big picture. A straight size 40 jean (although 36 would be preferred) and 285lbs. So that’s what I am going to work on. I know I have it in me and can do it. So I am going to. This weeks workouts were a little all over the place but I’ll be back on track next week. And getting it done.
Oh I have a new weight loss/fitness/ personal instagram – It’s pictured here and I’ll be using that more and more. I hope you will follow along. I wanted to break it away from the studio.
So thanks for reading. Thanks for the support and thanks for being here.
Till next week.