Every time that I go through a week or two where I feel on top of the world, I have a week full of just one of those days. I am not sure why, not sure what brings it on but it happens. Maybe it is Keto rage? I actually tried to fix my electrolytes last night to see if that would make a difference. It didn’t until I woke up apparently.
Maybe it’s just the holiday season. I wish I could just get them completely. I don’t want to be a hallmark movie person. I will stick to the classics like ELF. I dunno. Maybe next year I will just go away because everyone around me would probably just be happier to not have my miserable ass around. You can’t tell the people around you, that love you, what’s wrong if you don’t know yourself. Is it that the scale went up on Monday morning after I needed mouthfuls of antibiotics for teeth work? I don’t know. I do know that I feel ravenous right now and want to eat the entire stocks poundcake is sitting on my kitchen counter that my wife thought would be a good idea to get. The good thing is that I don’t like it without milk or ice cream and there is neither in-house. Fuck it. I ate the last piece and still woke up in Ketosis so I guess that’s a win for me.
But the holidays are coming and you just can’t stop them. Que all the crazy family traditions, creepy uncles wanting excessive amounts of hugs and just trying to get by. Get ready for the onslaught of forced Facebook and social media posts of perfect little kids with perfect moms and dads.
FUCK! Okay. Deep breath. Grinchmode deactivated.
I am trying to be more patient when my body or my heart tell me that I need to pause. We can’t always be at peak performance. We are human beings; we get burnt out and drained. Maybe I am just drained. Maybe my reality doesn’t meet my expectations and the perfectionist inside me just feels like a failure. I am used to going, going, going, and working nonstop—I’m always doing something. I set next-to-impossible expectations for myself and then feel completely pathetic when I don’t meet those expectations. Unplug. We are allowed to step away. We are allowed to feel our emotions—even the uncomfortable ones. We are worthy of time if that’s what we want. If that’s what we need.
I am okay, I promise.
Fuck grinch mode activated.
When you post a photo and your 145lbs lighter in one then 5 years ago…. you didn’t stop did you? You would think one would have kept going? Not sure why the #1 comment or reply is “don’t stop, keep going”. I dunno, am I reading into it too much? But seriously are we that immune to shit anymore that the best answer is don’t stop? I had set backs but I never stopped trying. I never stopped pushing forward.
OK seriously grinch mode off.
I went to planet fitness on Tuesday with my daughter-in-law to be. I know you don’t have a heart attack I went to planet fitness. But she has a membership where she can take me and as much as I probably could’ve taken her to the gym with me I didn’t want to ask for another favor. With her wedding coming up neither of us want to spend an extra $10 for a day pass either way. We worked out shoulders together and it was nice. I am really going to like having a daughter. I could definitely do worse in the in-law department too. I am already looking to Christmas prim rib and I am not even sure she’s gonna get out of work before dinner. I am getting that prime rib damnit.
Never in 1 million years would I have ever thought that somebody would ask me to go help them workout at the gym. But we had a great workout and talk.
I’m also helping a friend maneuver herself through Keto. Let’s get this out there right now. It isn’t a diet. It’s a lifestyle change and a new way of eating. It is not a quick fix, you can do it and lose 10 pounds of water weight like every other magic pill out there on the market in a week or two. But when things get hard just like every other magic pill, you will fail.
She is down 14 pounds in two weeks. Even if we act like adults and realize, 8 to 10 pounds was her water weight, I will take the 2 pounds of fat loss per week on top of it as a major win. I really like this coaching thing. It kind of goes along the same lines as my day job at this point if I don’t know the answer, I hunt it down. We cheer for each other.
She is in my circle on my macros app, and Amber is too, and now we can kind of see what we all log into our meals for the day. That works well until you stop logging bite-size candy bars that you put in your mouth. And by the way there’s no real way to Log a Stock’s poundcake just saying.
Don’t be surprised if some kinda coaching/trainer/i dunno ends up on next years goals. I am already mulling them over. I think it’s time to give back and help a little.
Okay what’s up with me. In the end, I stayed about the same as last week. Still sitting at 68 to 70 pounds lost this year. Would really like to get to 75, and I’m not sure it can happen with the holidays coming and so many things to celebrate and enjoy. It’s not that I will not be doing keto, I just might be a little easier about the calories in and out! So by all means, if you invite me over for the holidays have plenty of cheese and pepperoni out. I will eat it I promise.
REMEMBER THIS! Where you stand now is not where you stood a year ago and not where you will stand next year. When people say you’ve changed tell them thank you, and keep going… You are not competing with some IG babe or meathead trying to get you to use his 20% off coupon on the internet. It’s you vs. you.
My accomplishments don’t overshadow my wife’s. She’s kicked her own ass all year long. I don’t tell her what to eat, what not to eat… I have busted her balls about that pound cake all week but in the ends she’s a big girl. She’s kicking ass and if she wants some pound cake that’s on her. (NO POUND CAKE FOR YOU KETOKK!!! I am watching your ass. )
BTW – When you are living a KETO lifestyle your body burns fat. It doesn’t always show up on the scale. It will show up in your jeans though. And trust me I know American Eagle stretchy jeans aren’t the industry standard but I am in a 36 straight regular boot cut. That is a non scale victory for ya when the scale didn’t want to co-operate.
I have a big week coming up so I expect to be writing as I go and then posting again next Friday. I will probably call it a year here in blog town around the holidays so that I can get myself together for my sons wedding and then prepare myself for what’s to come. You can find me on IG and my snap is @egophilly – Want to change it to something to do with my blog but they won’t let you and I am just too lazy.
Thank you for reading, being here and if you are in the inner circle, for putting up with me.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! This made me both laugh out loud and cry some happy tears. No pound cake for me. I’ve got a serious fire burning full of determination and spitfire. This is sooo mine, and I’m pushing thru!! Thank you so much for all you’ve already done for me. Taking tiny baby steps, but I’m already way further than I was a year ago….a month ago. It’s my time….I won’t let you down!
Just adjust to all the little things for now and you’ll be ready to go into thousand 19. Also takes a lot of pressure off the whole new year new me bullshit. You are already starting
Jess Bertolino says
I think it is so hard sometimes to be easy on yourself when you feel like the whole world is watching you… Even when you know you are kicking ass and you are confident and comfortable in your own progress somebody always has to say something. I really connected to this post for a lot of reasons and teared up a time or two. I dread the holidays because it means I have to see a lot of people who only want to talk to me about the food I eat or comment on the appearance of my body. Even though people are proud/happy for me, it gets exhausting trying to explain that it’s not just a diet, or explaining why it’s OK for me to eat bacon. I hope that you find ways to enjoy the holidays how you want to ❤️ Sending so much love to you and I know that 2019 will continue the awesomeness.
It’s easier to just tell people you are low carb. That for some reason they can grasp. The. It’s pressure I feel is the fact that I know people who’ve said to others…. he’ll fail sooner or later you’ll see….. that’s not gonna happen. Or even my drummer who asks…/ can you eat that? Sure dude. I can eat whatever I want. I’ll always help others when I can…. if you notice I almost never put this stuff out on FB. This is my personal area….. my personal Instagram….. this is the real me….. FB Franco is mostly business and very calculated….. I love you Jess! Keep kicking ass cause you guys have an awesome son and lots of fun ahead of you.
Jess Bertolino says
I feel you. I use the term low carb too. Or I basically just say I’m trying not to get the diabetes that runs in my family. It’s hard when people are also watching your choices and asking what you can have. Last month we were celebrating for a family’s birthday and Mike’s aunt said “I know you won’t want beer so there are water bottles over there.” It’s like, I don’t police you; don’t police me!! 🙂 you’re absolutely right. You can eat whatever you want. I hate the idea that ANYONE is out there waiting for you to fail. It’s pure jealousy of determination/success.