I know it’s been a while and I probably only blogged twice during the pandemic and the shut down. I suck.
I wanted to reach out and catch everyone up. Not sure who everyone is at this point because I have not been a beacon of inspiration by any stretch of the imagination during this time. I really should have been on the ball and pushing everyone forward with me and I let myself cave in for quite a few weeks. I guess that is OK because this is it something we were not prepared for. I am having a hard time stringing two or three days of self control together.
My daughter-in-law is an ICU nurse at a local hospital outside of Philadelphia. Just a few nights ago she lost one of her patients to COVID-19. He was not OLD. I am not going to downplay it whatsoever. What I will say here that I won’t say many other places is that I am over living in fear. I have said it time and time again, being someone who escaped death once already – that when it is time, like my grandma always told me, Jesus will come for you. I don’t want to make others sick. That would make me very sad. But I think at this point everyone can do what’s best for themselves. NO ONE can seem to tell us the same thing twice. I don’t want to get political, cause I will be honest – that’s not me. But someone has an agenda and someone isn’t telling us something. The state seems to be opening up with no rhyme or reason. You can do this but you can’t do that and being at the shore this past weekend was just fucking weird. I am definitely changing the way I do things this summer and probably for the future as well.
But in the end I’ve said it many times that I am a summer god. LOL I live for the summer. I was ready for the summer last year even though life threw us many curveballs with the passing of Amber’s father. I am not ready for it this year but I’m starting to get back on track. I definitely got in my own way and in my own head. Guess what? I put on what I like to call the “COVID-20.” – But I went away to college and came home a size 60 jean (I wore a 66 at one point)…. Yeah, I am not that guy anymore. I am still in the 30’s waist wise and about 13 pounds heavier than when lockdown started on March 14th for me, almost 90 days ago. I would have been kicking summers door down right now.. But life happened, and it happened to all of us. Some of my friends fought through it hard.. I marvel that I have a few that lost so much weight, worked out more, gave themselves time. I am amazed by you. I truly am.
I am here…. I am dialing down my carbs…. I am strength training again and I am riding my Peloton at least 20-30 minutes most days…. My beard is gone. My hair is long and I have to eventually rotate my drawers into summer clothes and see what actually fits from last year. I think there are going to be a lot of tight shirts and shorts but hopefully by Fourth of July I will be back on track. Can I just start summer then?
Before this past weekend, I had only been to the shore once in 2020. It isn’t the same for me if I can’t do all the things, but I think I am going to have to suck it up and just do the things that I can do and not let it take me down like so many other things.
I can wallow in my Covid-20 , lost gigs, my absolute gut wrenching depressions, missing hugs, people and doing what I want to do when I want to do it or I can flip that shit…….
Let’s play a game…. What positives have come out of these 3 months? Hmmmm
My Office is clean and fully functioning now. It actually looks pretty fucking cool.￼
The garage is cleaned out, we have one car in there and plenty of room for band stuff and other things.
The basement was cleaned out, completely redone, walls, drop ceiling and flooring right before Covid hit.
We had a full blown speakeasy/saloon/bar put in during Covid…. (Thanks to a separate entrance)and so many cool friends who have been helping with bar signs, glassware, coasters…..
We have a pool table now thanks to the brat.
We completely redid our bedroom right before covid and purged even more crap. The dogs love the king size bed.
I have played guitar more.
I have a 5 star Island on Animal Crossing!
Pool is open and a new pump installed….. new liner is in too…. UGH (That one hurt)
Didn’t get completely fucked with the taxes from selling my father in laws house.
My family is still talking to each other and we haven’t killed anyone.
And all of a sudden the world went fucking bonkers.
And I make no secret that I am the proud dad of a new cop. He put himself through the police academy, was hired for his dream job, and for six months has been figuring it out for himself. My entire social media feed went from highly trained bio chemists to social activists……. I have never posted anything political or remotely controversial anywhere, I did post the next paragraph on my Twitter which got my other son, talking which was a refreshing change.
So strange…all the people I’ve seen on fb so worried about their rights because they have to wear a mask to shop in Costco are awfully quiet after George Floyd was murdered. I wish they felt the same way about civil rights as they did about shopping in Costco.
I also don’t hide the fact that one of my best friends is a person of color. He’s in the band with me, he’s one of the first people I wanted to see when we started to slowly come out of hiding, I have gone to other countries with him, I have also learned a lot from him. Even in recent weeks there are things that I did not know or realize that made think by stuff he’s posted, of conversations he’s had which I am sure are making “some” people roll their eyes. Sometimes it’s hard to have difficult conversations with close friends but that’s where all this change starts. I do not want to be held accountable for the sins of the past. Christ my parents I’ve only been here since 1968. That’s no excuse though. To say I don’t worry about him being somewhere with “his skinny ass white girlfriend” and getting jammed up would be a lie, because I do and I am sure it’s always on his mind. All it takes sometimes is one asshole.
Both my sons have best friends who don’t look like them. Christ, Brandon’s bridal party might was well been the United Nations. Guess what mother truckers, that means that as a parent I’ve done something right. I am glad that they can let people into there lives who enrich them, lift them and enlighten them. They both lead by example. They aren’t on FB sharing stories from blog and calling it news. They are not getting in fights with people, they are just being men, and leading by example.
Wow my head is spinning.
I like to say that I am not political. But thinking about it lately I most definitely am. I care about locally funded programs, I care about the roads that my nice car drives on, I care about job loss and people making a decent wage. And believe it or not I care about the education my son as a police officer gets continually, that he could be a better person, understand people better, as he matures into adulthood and I want him to be a leader that I know he can be. He’s 26 years old for gods sake’s. So it is up to me to research the people that will make the things that I care about a priority. So I guess I am political. I just need to weed out the excessive noise and find my own real answers. Who will speak for me the closest in November?
It takes nothing to show compassion, kindness and educate yourself! That shit costs nothing.
I keep seeing a lot of posts about erasing 2020. I am not going to do that. I am going to do everything I can to get to my final weight loss goal I know that I said that I was putting a number of things but I guess I need to turn this year around completely. The magic number to the final destination is 55.
So here we go 2020. You are about to be my bitch!
Are you ready for one last ride with me?
Oh and don’t be a fucking numnut….. Have the difficult conversations. Don’t know what to say? Listen. And above all just try to be a good friend….
Thanks for reading. I am just a dude from NE Philly who moved to the burbs and talks to dogs all day long. What the hell do I know?