I have to tell you that I started this blog over 20 times in the last month., especially since I came back from the Bahamas. I was very excited to see that I really hadn’t gained any weight on vacation. And I went crazy with a lot of drinks. Although I tried to stick to diet everything as my mixer I’m kind of glad because we came home to this pandemic and it became a perfect excuse for me to go ape shit crazy.
What does that mean in the grand scheme of things? Yesterdays weigh in after 10 days￼, Was 7 pounds higher. It put me at exactly 35 pounds to my final goal. No Bueno. But I got on the scale, put the whiskey bottles in the closet, And planned my meals for the day.
I am not really going to complain much about having to be home because everyone has to be home. Granted there are people reading this that are essential, most of my family is essential. Both my sons, my daughter-in-law, my wife, although she’s been going to work some from home, I think the biggest mental block for me has been the gym being closed.
I gave away my weight bench, and a lot of my dumbbells. I feel lost without going to the gym. It really centered me. It probably also kept me out of therapy for the last couple years. And while I might not be perfect, I will try to pull my shit together today as well.
I think as I sit out back today letting the dogs run around the big yard, drinking coffee – I am actually going to post this because I want anyone reading it, to know you are not alone. We are all going to face a long ass week of Mondays. I get up work in my pjs, take a shower, put on clean pjs. Tomorrow I’ll get up and we’ll repeat that.
I wish I can tell you that this was all going to get better soon but I don’t believe it myself. I don’t like being controlled, and since we’ve never really lived through this before, we can only listen to the experts.
If you know anything about me you know that this is killing me because I love being around people. It’s why I do what I do on stage most weekends.
It’s breaking my heart to have to talk to these brides from the spring and help them move their wedding dates, cancel their dream day, cancel private events, move private events, do whatever we can to make things better. We can’t really get together musically because no one wants to get each other sick. Otherwise Crabby, Baba and I would definitely be playing music every night.
I’ve been posting a few things on Instagram but let’s face it, I suck. My fingers just don’t want to ever work.
But I guess life is not all fucked up.
In the Bahamas I got to watch Baba and his pain in the ass girlfriend get engaged on stage. The motherfucker knows I am a Camera junkie, I had all kinds of shit with me, and doesn’t even let me in on it to make sure I captured everything perfectly. 🙄
I got to go on vacation with a great group of people and Chrissy. Thank God, because I think the stress I was going through before vacation would’ve rolled into this mess, and I probably would not make it. I am already doing my best to not panic, or let anxiety get to me.
Our basement got finished a few days after we got back from the Bahamas and now it waits for the pandemic to end before a pool table arrives that Brett bought for us, and I can find someone to build my whiskey bar.
We whitewashed the fireplace and for one of our first do it yourself projects, it does not look bad and definitely looks better than the horrible red brick that was there.
It might not be perfect but we hung a 70 inch TV in the basement as well.
I was incredibly proud of the schedule I put together for the band. And watching these dates fall off without us playing any of them is breaking my heart. This was going to be our year. I am not sure how we are going to salvage it. At least we are not alone there either.
So I am going to wrap this up because wallowing in this bullshit will not make things better.
I always preach consistency. I know since I have come home from the Bahamas and stepped into this pandemic with everyone in early March I have not been consistent. It’s time to change that because for better or for worse summer is coming. If I am isolated to my own pool, I am still going to look and feel good. At this point I know I’m never going to look that great so I might as well feel good.
It’s time for me to be consistent. I should be back in ketosis by the end of the week. And I am saving the drinking for the weekend and going to curb it. I wasn’t going ape shit, and I haven’t been drunk in months but it was a long steady stream that started at 12 o’clock some days in the middle of this bullshit and just lingered 🙂
I have a lot of friends suffering and scared since I surround myself with a lot of artists, servers, people that don’t really have massive 401(k)s just like me. There will be no bail outs for any of us. Makes me sad.
Support your local friends. Make sure you tip when you pick up your food curbside because they need it as well. Don’t fight over toilet paper, this isn’t making anyone shit themselves more than ever. You are just plain silly at this point.
Do what you can at home. Stay active. Bite your tongue with your spouse when you have to because it’s OK to have feelings. And everyone is feeling them in their own way right now. This is allowed to suck. Those feelings you are having are valid. But don’t let them consume you because this too shall pass.
You are not alone.
You are okay.
We are the hopeful.
We will be okay.
And it’s okay to not be okay.
HOPE IS NOT CANCELLED!
Time to get at it – oh and follow the makings of my sweet Corona-Beard!