I’m going to get my stuff out away quickly and then we will talk. How’s that?
There is no hiding that it’s been a long summer here. I set out very hard to try and maintain and not have to dig myself out of a hole in the fall, and I failed at that.
That’s OK. I think I woke up on Monday morning in a very good place even after seeing the number on the scale ( FML) and pushed forward. It’s been a very good week. My calories have been on point every single day so far.
Now granted, it’s only been three full days. But even with a very busy Monday, I got to the gym, I’ve tackled everything that I needed to. I am definitely burning fat. And the number on the scale on Monday was scarier than anything I’ve seen all summer. But I have quickly dealt with that. It’s funny how I chomped down on twizzlers and chocolate chip cookies on my 10 hours in the car over the weekend and it magically threw 10 pounds on me. Not to mention we had family dinner on Sunday and the homemade gnocchi and Megan’s (Brett’s girlfriend)Birthday cake was awesome.
Hey, I knew it was going to happen when I woke up on Monday and I could’ve been a pussy and not go near the scale but I got on the scale anyway. My body on carbs is like a runaway train. Just can’t do it.
But somehow I told you last week that the magic number was 27, and even with all that craziness, this week the magic number is 24. There are 12 weeks left in the year and at 2 pounds a week I could be right there. It’s not anything crazy, it’s self control and it’s science. I am actually not a fan of either. But I am a fan have how good it feels to hit a goal.
So there is that. OK then.
I’ve had quite a few people lately tell me for whatever reason, and whatever is going on in your life that they are scared. I’ve also had people tell me that I don’t understand. I don’t get it.
You can’t tell me that I’ve never been scared. I have had more than my share of life changing experiences, faced events and circumstances that could’ve changed my life forever. And I have fought through it all. And no rhyme or reason will I ever say that it was easy. Because it’s not. Good things just don’t come easy to me. In fact not a lot comes easy. But. little by little, it comes.
What really makes you an adult, what really makes you strong, is how you face that fear. How you take chances. How you jump. It’s OK to hold your nose as your plunging. The truth is that if you don’t jump you will never know what’s on the other side. What is better to live with I guess, fear or regret?
I have written about my relationship with Amber‘s dad in the last few weeks of life. Ironically more people read that blog then when I hit my hundred pound loss. You can click here to read that….
And I don’t normally tell anyone’s story here, I did ask Amber if if could write about this
Amber‘s mom passed away over 25 years ago. At the time, she found out through one of her aunts and basically by accident that her parents had given up a child for adoption. She had a brother that was for five or years older than her. He was put up for adoption through Catholic social services and Amber had reached out to them to see if they would put them together. She had gotten a response that basically said he wanted nothing to do with her. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you’re 19 years old, and just lost your mom, but there was nothing she could do.
Fast forward 30 years, somehow her brother gets a hold of her father‘s obituary and her sister-in-law reaches out on Facebook. Amber had gotten a friend request in the middle of August, and of course as usual asked me if I knew who the person was because it turns out, It’s usually someone related to the band or the gym. Nope, it doesn’t look familiar.
Well because she didn’t except the friendship request she also didn’t see the message that the girl sent her. It was something along the lines like this might come as a surprise, but I am married to your brother.
Not such a surprise at all. But, I get a text at 9 AM last Thursday and now there is fear, there is uncertainty.￼ I kept trying to reassure her that we would work it all out. Amber and her brother John set up a call after the Eagles game and four hours later I think they are on the verge of becoming best friends. When Amber’s dad passed away one of the things I know bugged her was the feeling of being alone. I didn’t take any offense to it, I knew what she meant. I kind of feel weird that my parents are in Italy right now and are so far away for me. So yeah I got it.
She was very scared all weekend long for this call to happen. And out of fear came what I believe will be something great. We all want to belong. We all want to have something. We all want to leave something other than money and we’re bills behind when we are gone.
The next couple days are also a mixed bag as we close out the sale of her dad’s house, and Amber and her brother have another scheduled phone call after the Eagles game. He’s going to have to realize that she is way, way more a Flyers fan, but Hell get there.
I think out of fear and being scared great things come. While we can get comfortable in that fear, there’s something about staying in your comfort zone too long that makes light stale.
There are quite a few crazy things happening in the family right now. A lot of good things to come over the next few weeks. And little by little we will ride the waves. Who knew summer wasn’t going to end just yet.
Even in death, Pro is still throwing us some curve balls and keeping us on our toes. It’s a weird, cool and solemn kinda connect the dots.
Thank you for reading, keeping us in your thoughts, and more than anything I would like you to reflect on the next 12 weeks. What can you change? What can you do to set yourself up for an amazing 2020? How can we get there?
Today is world mental health day. It is important that you remember that your story is important. Thank you for being here
Have a great week.