I am sorry it’s been two weeks. I’ve been on the struggle bus both in head and heart. I think I am back on track. I am sure you all enjoyed the social silence for awhile. Twitter is bumping again. I like talking to myself there. Come keep me company. I am back. Let’s get to it.
I can tell you what I’ve been up to for the last two weeks or so but honestly… I work with the band, I work out and I take care of my my family. I am sorry that I don’t have anything poetic to say about it. I fucked up. I am down a but on myself but the next is brewing and I have a massive umbrella for everyone.
Okay I have decided to take a different approach this week to writing this. I thought to myself, let’s write every day and even though you post it on Thursday. You won’t forget anything if you write as the weekend goes. Well today started with heart ache. I got on the scale and it went up 5 more pounds since Thursdays weigh and I am not really sure why. It was the biggest weight jump I’ve had since this all started. 311 lbs this morning. So I went to Doc’s. Did my back and chest and will go to boot camp tonight. I am back in the fight and I am not giving up. HELL NO! I am exactly at 100lbs lost. I was at 112. WTF. I wanna get better. I know this chest workout did me in today. My food intake was on point. Lot’s of protein and water and I got to boot camp too.
Today’s weigh in 309.7 and at least it’s going in the right direction. I woke up with a crappy cough this morning. And by waking up, I mean at 4:30am and didn’t fall back asleep. I hit OTF for a workout and busted up over 900 calories. I kicked that work outs ass. Tomorrow is leg day at Doc’s and it’s going to suck. That I know.
I hit Champs Nutrition today for some quest bars. And spent some time just catching up, playing records and cuddling with my puppy. G misses me ans I hate leaving him in the crate for too long.
Tonight, I went to see a plastic surgeon about my legs. All the skin that’s hanging there.. We talked about the various procedures that they can do and what he thinks would be best for me and we are going to submit it to the insurance company. He basically said to not hold my breath. I can’t afford. If the insurance doesn’t cover it it would be roughly $8500 – $10000 bucks. I don’t have that for sure. I hate my legs. My knees hurt so bad after leg day. I wish there was another way but I guess only time will tell. But it was a step and fact finding.
Today my cat Adrienne, crossed the rainbow bridge and left me after almost 17 years. I loved that cat. She drooled on me, laid on the kitchen table and always tried to steal my snacks. Sounds like me actually. It’s hard. She was a great cat.
I went to boot camp this morning then hit Doc’s for a great leg workout.
Oh, I also weighed 306 today! Even if I am at the same place tomorrow it will be a good week.
Yesterday I forgot to take my afternoon water pill and today I am at 308 so for shits and giggles and for the sheer fact that the scale is the scale, I’ll take the 3 pound loss for this week and continue to work my way towards 285 some more. I have to be able to get there before the end of the year. I have no choice but to try my best.
I can tell my body is changing. My chest especially and there is so much muscle under my leg skin and fat rolls. I see it and feel it in the leg press machine on leg day.
I have a duo gig tonight, a wedding tomorrow and club show Saturday.
Thanks for bearing with me. I am back on the mend mentally and going to be giving it my all. My 45th (ugh) birthday is Feb 8th and I’d really like to be at 275. It’s not a cray goal. I think that would be a very good happy weight for me and I think 280 would be something I could maintain.
As always comments, concerns, criticisms, the works are welcomed.