It’s hard to believe that over a year has passed since I started writing to you. I am not even sure who “you” is. Up until recently, I had almost no idea that more than a handful of people read this. But either way here I am.
It is February 4, the gyms are already somewhat back to normal. And I am still working on 2014’s goals and just as far away from them as I was at the end of the year. More food, more cardio, more weightlifting, sometimes absolutely bone crushing on my super ego. I am a musician for gods sake, lead singer, of course I have a super ego.
You’re too fat. No I will come and see your band play. We can’t book that band, that’s the band with the fat guy in it. Drive all the way to Ocean City Maryland for a band showcase on a crappy ass rainy Sunday night to play for free, every other band gets summer dates there except mine because basically he didn’t like the girl and I was too fat. His patrons aren’t going to want to see that.
You know what? Fuck you! I have beaten every single odd that there is for a guy like me. I got the dream, I got the girl, I don’t have a house with a white picket fence, but I have a little shore house, and I have played on every stage that I really wanted to over the years and have been successful at it.
What happened to the guy who didn’t want to book the band in Ocean City Maryland? Four years later after we set the New Jersey shore on fire he wanted us very badly. And I could’ve been a vengeful prick and said no, try to hold out for more money which we would’ve never gotten. But just like anything else in my life, I made the decision for the better good. I took the band to Ocean City Maryland, and for years and years was one of the top drawing bands at that establishment and over 14 years later – still am. And while we are still there, that manager is long gone.
So why am I telling you all this? It’s to show you that no matter what I do not give up when I want something. Maybe it will show you how strong I am, maybe it will remind me how strong I am when I have to reread this later to edit it.
I decided to try something called flexible eating. It is definitely more of a lifestyle, than it is a diet plan. It is a program my trainer Dan Campos has been working for the last couple years. You can google IIFYM of you want to learn more. It stands for If It Fit’s Your Marcos. It’s a program that targets specific macro nutrients for your body. So for my weight, height, age and body fat I have to hit a certain amount of protein, carbs, fat and fiber. And let me tell you IT IS HARD!!!! You can get it in any time of the day but I find myself not being hungry and then shoving different things in my mouth at 8pm to get there or making a mega smoothie. If you see me eating a bag of chips or something you haven’t in a while. Mind your own damn business. I haven’t fallen off the wagon. I just have to hit my macros.
It’s a learning curve. I am at 327 today. Sitting in the same spot for the past few weeks. Still full of hope. Still working hard. Still heading to the gym after I post this.
Since I started this journey a little over a year ago I’ve had one song on repeat… @bleachersmusic – I Wanna Get Better. It has inspired me, pushed me and some days it has even saved me from myself. The writing is actually my little brothers… the vitals represent the ups and downs of life…. While we were blasting this in we gave my Bigg Romeo 15 year tattoo a little bump in color and life.
My birthday is Sunday. I won’t be at my goal even still. I wanna get better.
Keeping the faith,