Today is the first day since I have started down this road that I am ready to shut it all down.
I have busted my ass for the last two weeks in the gym. Have been more careful about my food. And I am back at 313. I don’t understand. I don’t get it Maybe my body is just not going to let me get under 300 again. I’ve been getting a gallon of water down a day. What I don’t understand is that on Monday, after a day of drinking and eating fried shit on Sunday, I weighed 308 and today it’s 313. What the flying fuck? What do I do? I am really just tired. I am tired of chicken. I am tired of trying to weight all my food out. I am tired of water, I am tired of planning my days around workouts when the reward is just soul crushing.
I was walking around the house Tuesday night pounding my chest, being silly, feeling strong. Feeling happy. Today the scale just totally shot me in the heart.
So I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. I was going to write about my bootcamp week and OTF but honestly it’s not worth it. No one is reading this anyway. And if anyone actually does I’ll get the whole muscle weighs more than fat. It’s the 11th. I need to lose 13 pounds by the end of this month. So do I stop lifting and just do cardio? Do I not eat anything unless it came from an egg? Do I get a coach to get me over this hump? Do I just go into the garage and grab a 2×4 to hit myself over the head with it? That would be cheaper.
So here is my feel sorry for myself blog. There was bound to be 1 I guess. And I was ready to buy TeamFranco tank tops last night!