Okay last week I was in NC with my parents and it seems so damn far away that I really don’t have much to say about it at this point. My allergies were killing me from the get go. But I pushed through like a champ. And I did have a good time. But it was the first post I missed in 17 months. I know you guys missed me but before we boarded the plane we had found out that my father in law had a heart attack and Brandon had sprung into action to get him to the hospital. He had a full blockage and now has a stent in his heart. We don’t have the greatest relationship so it’s hard. I think there are a small handful of people in the world that strongly dislike/hate me and he’d probably be on the list near the top. But in the end he’s important to my family so he has to be important to me. So I’ve done what I can. He’s home now. We are helping and adjusting. He’s a cat hoarder. Feeds about 40 strays out back. Property smells like cat piss. House does too cause I think the cats use the crawl space as a little box. It’s brutal. But at almost 80 years old what can you do? (Get a dog.. lol)
When I got back from mom and dad’s I had lost weight. I was down at 308 last Friday morning and today it was 313. I wanted to cry on the scale quite honestly. I’m hovering at the 100lb mark and not going anywhere. HELLO. I’m supposed to be hovering at 300 right now. WTF! So as I write this with honesty. I look in my pill case. I keep missing my afternoon water pills. I am not getting my gallon of water in. My eating is off. It’s not crazy. But it’s off. It needs to get on track. I need to get it on track. My heart hasn’t been into my workouts. I need to get this under control.
When will I hit my goal? Soon.
I have no choice. I can’t quit. I can’t quit on myself.
Did I have a few non scale victories this past week? Sure I did. I got on a plane. I did it just fine. I whipped around in my mom’s honda accord like a champ. I got on stage at Carney’s. Kicked in the summer like I used to, and tore that place up. That’s gotta be worth something right?
I ate crack chicken. I ate Bojangles. I had a lot of steak. I had a pool party. I wore a bathing suit 3 sizing too big and I was photographed without my shirt on.
Soon. It’s not far away. It’s not tomorrow. It’s soon.
I am sorry. I had visions of this being one of my favorite blogs with so much to tell you. But it just isn’t. It’s stripped down, truthfully and although full of anger, I think it’s full of hope. My self control is lacking lately and I need to get it in check. That’s my goal this week. Curbing myself. Restraint.
Thanks for reading.