It took me a long time to realize that there is no quick fix to the weight-loss battle. Even weight-loss surgery is nowhere near a quick and easy fix to being overweight. Everyone thinks that those people take the easy way out but they do not have any idea what that does to your life and your body. If you don’t change your mind – the surgery will not change you either.
Sometimes rock-bottom comes at you in different ways. I’ve had friends recently asked me to talk to family members about weight loss. These are people with significant weight to lose who really need to save their lives. Unfortunately everyone has their own rock bottom and it’s very hard to convince someone to give up things that they love or help them fight the fears that they have in their heads when they are not ready.
Four score and seven years ago I would be walking around the mall with Amber and people would come up to me and hand me herbal life cards. There wasn’t the Internet like there is now so I could walk through the mall and get handed a few “let me help you save your life/lose weight” business cards. Half the time the people handing me the cards or no smaller than I was. It really made me scratch my head. Also broke my heart. Who gave the stranger permission to walk up to me to talk about my weight? Who the fuck did they think they were to infer anything about my weight? But there they were trying to make a sale. That hasn’t really changed 15 years later. The tactics may have, but not the game.
I got a few messages from an Internet friend a few days ago asking me to check out her latest venture. I would do great with it, then I saw her matching it to my other friends as well. I don’t really know this girl. We have many mutual friends. She’s always been very nice to me and my mission. Didn’t she see how hard I’ve have been working? Does she really think that something I can put my water is going to help me lose more weight than all the hard work that I am doing? Or am I just another sale? I get solicited from all the main multi level marketing Businesses out there. Advocare, herbal life, Nexium, Rodan and Fields – I know that I am also peddling the band and the photography studio so I try not to get angry about people’s posts etc. but it really does make me shake my head when I get direct messaged about that kind of stuff.
I wrote her back very nicely and said that I really wasn’t interested in anything that wasn’t part of my meal plan at this time. I am not comfortable selling something that I don’t know what is inside it, nor do I know what it will do to my body in 10 years. I worked my ass off to lose over 100 pounds in the last two years, I am not about to sell anyone a quick fix. There are no quick fixes. 3/4 of the people I know that were selling Advocare 16 months ago are no longer.
I cried quite a few times in the late 90s and really didn’t like going to the mall knowing that the herbal life Zombies would be coming for me. As much as I like to shop, I really hated going out of the house at that time of my life, walking was difficult to begin with.
Now on Facebook and Instagram they come after me as well and the game has completely changed. I just want to see pictures of your babies, puppies, transformation Tuesday pictures and not be reminded about my weight, need to lose more, or the fact that I have not hit my second goal yet. Bring on the puppies. I don’t want to try your tea, your cleanse or Shakeology although the beach body tapes are pretty awesome and brutal workouts.
I have not had the greatest self-control over the last two weeks. Today’s weigh in was 308 pounds. Although lately I feel very strong, I should really be a lot stronger. My self-control is in the toilet. I was very bummed out last week which is why I did not blog. I’m having a hard time not making bad decisions right now. I feel like I have an insatiable appetite and just want to eat everything that is in front of me. I hope that this too shall pass.
I would really like to get into a set structure, with training more than anything. I think then I will be able to adjust my evening to basically fuel the fire to burn the fat. But I am here, and I am telling you all this, because I am not afraid. I know what is ahead of me, I sure as hell know what is behind me. And I only want to get better. I want more definition and I want to drop 25 more pounds. That’s it. I don’t expect to be 200 pounds ever. I am okay with being 275-280.
I have been on the phone fighting with Aetna a few times this week. They didn’t approve my leg lift and tuck so I have to fight them and get an appeal denial before Amber’s work can try and fight it as well. They have advocates that help you. My legs look worse now they they ever did but even more important than that… they actually hurt. The skin banging into my knees and body, hurt. That’s actually a good angle in the photograph on the left. It’s a lot worse head on and you can see where the skin hits the legs. So the “Official” appeal is in and we’ll see what they say. Not really too excited about surgery but something has to be done.
So I am not going to wait till Monday to start getting my shit together. I already started. I went to OTF this morning and busted put almost 1000 calories burned and then went to bootcamp for a noon strongman medley. So I am back. I just have to watch what I am putting in my mouth. Nothing changes I guess.
So there you have it. It’s not always “read me – look how much weight I lost this week”. Sometimes it’s a real struggle. It’s real life. It is what it is. We will be lions and contiunue to push forward. You can’t have a team with shirts and not lead the pack. So it’s time to pull my head out of my ass. Stop feeling sorry for myself and make the best of things.
Thanks for reading.