Well it’s been a week so far and I know it’s only been a few days since I last wrote some words down but I am doing my best to get something written at least weekly. So I guess I’ll start with a recap and tell you that on Monday I got on the scale. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was still almost 12-15 pounds lighter than I was last November and in April when I recommitted.
On Monday I got up, got on the scale, took a deep breath, got dressed and headed for the kitchen. I prepared what I needed to and just got it done as much as possible. I’ve drank over 1 GALLON of water a day. No added sugar. Little added salt. And hit the gym and weights hard. Lighter weights, more exercises and isolated body parts. I have been on less then 100 carbs a day so I haven’t really been motivated to do cardio but I will soon enough. I am not starving I promise. I am eating. I think my body is in shock though cause even at 1900 calories my stomach is grumbling like crazy at bed time, and so very unlike me, I’ve just been going to bed so that I don’t get tempted to eat. So I am meeting my nutrition, water and gym… need to get a little more sleep and things will be on the right path.
I post and tag a lot about New Years….. and I guess it’s time to explain why…. Like everything – there is a story – So a 4 years ago when this all started a few days before New Years, and if you read much of this blog you’ll know this story already. But we were playing a show in New Hope. It was my wife’s birthday and she was having her fun and I remember almost having an out of body experience for most of the night. It was Christmas week. The place was packed. Everyone was having so much fun and I felt like I was watching from outside the box. I knew I had to do something. My body just didn’t want to do the things I wanted it to do in my head. I hated the clothes I was wearing. I hated the weight I had gained and how it held me down again from doing simple things like fitting in the seats at a movie or hockey game. I had kicked this once. What the fuck happened? We talked last week about that how I am stupid…. So even to add to this mess…. Amber ends up getting sick two times on the way home… and I took pictures of course cause that’s what I do….. she spent the next day…. On the couch and didn’t see the drunken collage I posted on Facebook and the 200 plus likes and comments till it was too late and I was a dead man. One particular photo was her bend over at the rest stop. She was ready for a change too.
While amber slept, I created this blog to hold myself accountable. I wasn’t going to advertise it, I was just going to write. I also started a personal twitter and whoever found it great… But I wasn’t Facebooking my every move because I had been here before and knew the laughs behind my back when I would fail… Anyway. – I spent her whole birthday pulling old photos together. I had emailed a few gyms… and then came up with an intro plan at least. When the smoke settled, Amber and I were going to give it a clean start and on January 6th we both kicked it into gear… me with walking every morning at the mall and she was doing Shaun T tapes… The gym came a few months later.
A few nights later it was New Years Eve and I played at Parx and that’s where my goal came. We were playing with Fish out of Water… friends of mine… and those punks are usually shot out of a cannon. That night as much as my heart was, my body was not. I wasn’t keeping up and felt like I didn’t need to be there at all. The next morning my agent called and said we were going to do it again the following year so that’ where the 100 pounds in a year came from……
New Year’s is about finding a love you know will last forever, a person, a passion, a new hope…… and saying one final goodbye to all your past struggles.
I don’t think there is any magic at midnight. I just typically reflect more than anything. That’s really why NYE is important to me. I am usually alone 9/10 times and it’s good to sit back, take it all in, and reflect. I don’t believe in resolutions ironically enough so my plans usually start a few days later. Stopped smoking, it was the 3rd…. most successful diet started in the 6th. There is too much pressure in a NY resolution.
I had to make a change. I am still trying to make a change. I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I don’t want to regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.
Could have, would have, should have…. If only… excuses…. What I did in the past… this person – that person…
When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It most likely has nothing new to say.
If you are reading this, there is air in your lungs and you are alive. That’s the first step.
I am much better than I was 4 years ago. I’ve fractured my elbow… had surgery…been through hell and back and still kept moving forward..
So don’t post pictures of your wife’s butt on Facebook. That’s probably never gonna be a good thing for you and just breathe. Live in the moment..
I hope this finds everyone well. I have to pee. This water drinking is for the birds.
It’s ironic that this came out this week too.