My birthday came and went and I made a lot of jokes when people asked me how it was… what presents I got… I told them mostly that I had a parade…. And the Philadelphia Eagles brought their Super Bowl trophy for me and 3 million people to see. What the hell is ever going to top that? I didn’t need any presents. I don’t need anything and am hard pressed to think of anything that I want. I was lucky too that my birthday fell around a local show for the band so I got to have a birthday show at Parx Casino. A good number of friends took the time out of their lives to come and spend a little time with me. There were so many people there that I know that I didn’t get to say hello to everyone. That is the sucky part of only having 25 minute breaks and then trying your best to find a restroom and say hello. It was hot and I was drinking a lot of water in between everything else. I wasn’t drunk, I felt good. The band sounded and looked good and I felt comfortable for once. My friend LaRaine made me a boob cake. Ironically enough I am pretty sure I got one for my 27th birthday too. I was due for one I guess. This one had the word titty on it and a three year old helped me rip it apart with a spoon. His dad is my new fav! Starting them young!
I had one of those moments though on stage where I was lost in a crowd. Where you are always the party host but you don’t really know anyone. Everyone has their own agendas, you are only a friend when you serve a purpose… It was like I was floating around the room and just watching… I am the best “watcher” from the stage. I can tell so many things. I can see so many things. I don’t usually miss much unless I am singing lead on a song, then I disappear somewhere else. The world was spinning and I wasn’t drunk. It’s been too cold to talk since then.
In 1997 I had an apartment with Crabby the bass player in the band and I had a 5 cd changer in my rack unit. It only had two cds in it…. Third Eye Blind and Matchbox 20’s first cds. It’s amazing that 20 years later they are both still go-tos when I am in need. Third Eye Blind was at Parx Casino Saturday too and my small window to maybe sneak in for a song didn’t pan out since they weren’t on stage yet. But while I went to do that I found out a friend close to me lost her dad… and I felt bad cause she was stuck with us for the night…. But she powered through…. But my heart broke for her. The next morning I wanted to see what people thought about Third Eye Blind… and found out that the show started a little over an hour late cause Stephen Jenkins mom was sick and wasn’t doing well. He’d never cancelled a show before and powered through till the last song. It’s my favorite song and I’ll link to it at the bottom of the page for you. It’s not easy to watch though. He’s mom had passed a few hours later. Someone this week I know lost their dad messaged me about it and was like I know how that feels… and I asked him how he’d feel being in the middle of the show and getting a call from a band members family and having to tell them during your break that their dad passed and still have a set left to play? It’s something I’ve done more than I have ever hoped to. I am very blessed to have both my parents here at my age. I think that’s the worst part about getting older. I can deal with the weight, hair loss, body breaking down… I just don’t want those around me to have to deal with any more loss. I am tired of dealing with loss.
I need to rest my poor heart.
Maybe it’s the weather like some people have said… Maybe it’s current events and all the new experts on anything and everything all over Facebook but I am incredibly blah this week. One of buddies even joked with me and asked me if I was skipping the gym this week cause my Instagram has been pretty quiet. So even though I feel like I have a case of the blahs, I went to the gym this week. I stuck pretty close to my meal plan and I took a few pounds off, so after 6 weeks of eating more and fixing my body and the things that I broke and staying at my starting weight cause my coach is crazy, we have movement. I just started eating tis new meal plan on Monday and I’m down 3 pounds. It’s not much bit it’s movement and all coach wants me to lose is 2 pounds a week while packing on muscle so I guess we are on the right path. I am going 7 days this week so 3 pounds in 3 days or so is great, I’ll take it. So yes, I have been going to the gym, I am doing what I need to do. And while I am just not feeling anything at this moment, I am looking for the sunshine through the rain.
I got a new girlfriend on Sunday. Luna Lovegood Sicilia rescued me and she doesn’t like to sleep in her crate and likes keeping the house and I awake a lot at night. So the little bugger has taken a lot out of me this week. Maybe the blahs I am feeling are a lack of sleep. But if you follow me on Instagram or Snapchat then get ready for a puppy onslaught cause it’s coming. We are fucking crazy. What the fuck were we thinking?
Well I have to get to the gym and finish this weeks programming. I am getting my hair did later this morning, my coach decided that he didn’t like my hair wolfing and bought me a fresh cut for my birthday. We’ll see what happens there! I am thinking it’s time for a mullet!
Be good kids.