Okay this is a video I shot this morning and below a posted video from a year ago.
Amazing how different my walk is…
Fitness, 100lb + weight loss, IIFYM, Musician. Photographer. IG Junkie. Ink Addict.
Okay this is a video I shot this morning and below a posted video from a year ago.
Amazing how different my walk is…
I hope you are ready for a good read. I always tell people when I write a long blog, that I will give them something to read on the toilet. I know couple of you are reading this on the toilet right now. Yeah true story. I hope everything comes out okay. Anyway.
In October I got to the 319 pound mark. My arm was feeling awesome after my injury. And I really thought that I was on my way to goal but things progressed in the wrong way. Here it is three months later and I’m 7 pounds heavier but I doing so much more and probably eating so much better. Where did I go wrong? What do I have to do to get where I want to get?
You have to try to remember that your only competition is yourself when you watch those around you making progress 🙂 or you find some blog of some crazy person including myself that shows so much weight loss, body shaping, etc. that it really starts to fuck with your head. Why can they do this? Why? I thought that I can do anything that anyone else can do. It’s far from easy, and they say this abs are built in the kitchen. No really they are, they seem to know a lot, maybe I should get THEY on #teamfranco. They seem to know it all. I unfortunately know nothing. But I do know my only competition is me and I am a fucking bitch to compete apart because no one tells me that I can’t do something.
I weigh 326.4 pounds today. My first goal is at 311. I have been consciously working on it since January 6, 2014. It has consumed me, taken over my relationships, completely changed the way I spend my day and made me totally rework my schedule. I have basically practiced a get on the train or get run over by an attitude since the beginning. Then right before Christmas while I was reflecting, I realized that I was doing this far from alone, that I had a team, and that I had to do something to thank them, which is where my #teamFranco tag and T-shirts kinda came from. A simple way to say thank you for being there for me. And I do realize that many of these people were there because I paid him, but the ones I am with, I am with because I realize that they generally care. I can find 500 other trainers and teachers that I can pay and they won’t really give two shits how about me as long as the check is clearing. But I think the couple trainers, and the couple things I do, truly care. Although I think they should want me to get under 300 lbs sooner sooner because I am a walking success story and I look good on TV 🙂 I have a sarcastic confidence this week. I have been telling everyone that I am cute. And they just basically laugh at me.
On Sunday night, I had a conversation with my wife about this stuff. She brought it up because sometimes I don’t see things that are right in front of my face. She has never liked me putting my stuff out on the Internet no matter what it has been, and I usually don’t because of the band and the photo studio I usually have to stay happy, cheery, fun Franco. That Franco is was very good for business, the evil Franco that’s inside and we try to suppress very much it’s probably way bad for business. He’s the one that does not know the password to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Although I am pretty sure that he has made a couple guest posts here in the past year. That’s a big reason that this blog hasn’t been shared on Facebook yet. I wanted to track a full year before I did and when I didn’t hit my goal I just thought I’d wait.
If you go back to the posts on the right-hand side of our page, you were able to go back all the way to last December 2013 when I started putting this all into motion. I knew I had to do something, and I knew that to be successful I would have to hold myself accountable. My journey was already in motion, and my plan had been hatched without really sharing it with anyone. My wife had come out to a show on her birthday and gotten totally tanked. Very, very, out of character for her, dancing on stage, mostly because she knew how much it would annoy me, egged on by people who also knew how much it would annoy me, so I did what any other man would do, took pictures. I also took pictures while she threw up at two different locations on the way home. And then I posted them while she slept it off the entire next day. Let’s just say that all was well until she realized that the final picture was her bent over a trashcan on 95 and her ass flailing in the air bent over. I was a dead man. And part of me didn’t give a crap. This is who we are, this is what it is, what are you going to do. I really was trying to be funny, not mean.
But the damage was done, and I hurt her feelings very much, anyone who knows me knows that most of the time I use humor to hide my own insecurities, I love being the funny guy, if I am picking on you, I am like the second-grader who has a crush, and I like you very much. If I don’t talk to you at all, most likely means I hate your guts. Although I do not hate anyone so let’s make that I do not like your guts very much, although the rest of you might be just fine.
We both talked about being at rock bottom, and having to do something. I showed her a website I was working on, showed her my blogs that I basically wrote while she was passed out. And waited. I was already in hot water about her birthday now I’m going to answer change our entire lifestyle.
The first thing out of her mouth was are you sure you want to do this? I told her that I had no choice. I told her that I had to do something and while I wasn’t going to push the website out on Facebook anytime soon, because let’s face it, most of my Facebook posts are business in one way or another, I wanted to hold myself accountable, and at the same time someday inspire others. If by some slim chance in God that I can pull this off, I wanted to help others, even if my job is being an angel on your shoulder far away. I just wanted to get better. Maintain. Inspire. A lot of people around me have been on this journey once before, and I didn’t want them on this one with me because I was deathly afraid of falling on my face. The less people than new what I was doing the better in my personal life anyway.
She looked at me, and said what are we going to do? We talked about the different apps and eating and what had planned to get myself going. We got Nike fuel bands to track our activity, I started walking, she started using T25 DVD’s. And I guess that is how it all really started one way or the other. I have so many fitness friends around me, Marathon runners, triathletes, Spartan race contestants, bodybuilders, personal trainers, the little by little the journey progressed.
I don’t mention my wife, who by the way is named Amber, my step sons are named Brandon and Brett, they are 22 and 20 respectfully. I have raised them since they were two and four. Everyone has their own journey. This blog is mine. It tells my story. My family has changed her eating styles. Has supported me, don’t classes with me, walked with me, supported me when I needed it and also yelled at me as well. They are the people behind the scenes that make a movie great. Amber has lost almost 60 pounds since we started, Bitch is right behind me what the hell. She does most of the food shopping, So she buys me what I need, doesn’t complain too much about my frequent trips to Walmart and Champs Nutrition. As much as she complains about all my sneakers, I don’t think she really cares because for the first time in a very very long time I am putting them all to good use.
No matter who you having your corner, it always begins at home, and I am
very blessed. So even though I don’t mention them very often because they’re on their own journeys, my team would not be complete without them. The oldest still says boot camps are stupid and aren’t real workouts. My ass and legs will scream different for sure. Kids. What do they know? Life hasn’t beaten them up yet.
I am looking into a few more things to add to my regimen, tomorrow I’m going to weigh in for a 45 day challenge with an $800 dollar cash prize which I could really use for all these classes that I am buying. And will most likely be starting flexible eating by my next post. Have to change things up. My body is happy in size 44 jeans and xxl shirts. My butt wants size 38s. I do too.
I might not have hit my goal on time, but this story is far from over. Thank you for reading, thank you for being here, FTW!!!! #TEAMFRANCO
http://about.me/sicilia – a jump page to all things Franco
Nothing makes sense.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
Nothing is right.
Nothing is right when you’re gone.
Losing my breath.
Losing my right to be wrong.
I’m frightened to death.
I’m frightened that I won’t be strong.|
I want someone to love me
For Who I am…. – Nick Jonas and the Administration
I posted the below tweet this morning on my Instagram that got a lot of attention. I was pretty shocked actually for early Monday morning when I got in my truck after a double workout. There was an outpouring of love and encouragement. Truth be told I put this shit out there and it’s mostly for me. I have no idea who sees it, gets it, creeps it. If I can help someone it’s even better. That’s what I wanted to do. I’ve been so blessed to be inspired by people that as snobbish as it might sound to some people, I want to inspire too. I would love someday to help other people who feel that they’ve hit rock bottom and want to make a change. Maybe give them the hope that I needed and still need sometimes.
So I posted the above and things went crazy. So let me answer some of everyone’s messages even though I really didn’t want to blog because I didn’t want to say the same old thing. I can hear Charlie Brown’s teacher in my ear… wa wa wa wa wa. If you don’t know what that is… Google it. 🙂 But I realized by the messages that I was getting quite a few things today.
1. I am very loved. #teamfranco runs a lot deeper than my house and my family. They are the first to bust my balls and tell me to suck it up. #teamfranco is picking up steam. Friends have made resolutions and are heading into week two already determined to write their own success story. I am inspiring. And I have been all along. What I put out there I am also getting pack 10 fold.
2. People are actually reading what I am putting out there even though no one ever comments or wants to talks about it. And that’s okay.
3. Many people wrote about the scale being evil and the devil. I know. I get it. But I really didn’t take any measurements when I started. I didn’t pull a tape measure out, or a body fat machine, I just got on my scale. Which is a weight lifting digital scale that cost me like $425 in 1999 and is still pretty damn accurate. My friend Charlie always does Non-Scale victories so I have been trying to keep track of them and write about them… I posted a whole bunch here last week.… I know it’s more about what I can do or what I can feel. I know people want me to body watch more. I understand. I just wanted to lose the 100lbs in a year and some of the people I followed lost way more than that and didn’t work out at all. So it just gets frustrating. That’s how I set up the goal and what not and it’s hard after a year to unwire myself.
4. I can’t throw the scale out. It cost too much.
I was laying in bed this morning playing with my iPad, hoping that the puppy would shut the hell up. (that didn’t happen). I saw my friend Ronny who I’ve never met post that he was staying in bed. He’s been training for a Spartan Race and that’s just something like marathon runners that blows my mind. So of course like the asshole that I am posted on his IG that he had to get up and let’s go. He messaged me that he listened and got up and got his Spartan training on. Put a big smile on my face. His comments are above on that image and they really hit me hard today. They choked me up. I didn’t really understand the effect this strange trip has on those around me. I posted a positive photo, went downstairs and got on the scale. And then I took to Twitter. I was crushed. I didn’t go nuts this weekend. Hopefully it’s muscle. But I felt defeated I still got in the truck and went to to classes in a row.
I am not quitting. My weight went up over the weekend. I am 18 pounds away from 100 lbs lost. My birthday is February 8th. I am shooting hard for it. Maybe something will kick in. In the meantime I am walking 5 days a week. I did bootcamp every day this week. I’ve actually been working out every day since Christmas. A lot of those days I did two workouts and a walk. So I can’t do much more than what I am doing with the time I got.
Maybe on his next day off I’ll go Spartan train with Ron though. Why the hell not. I am doing Boot camps, Speed and Agility and Sculpt and Tone classes. I am doing the bet I can. That I know. Water game is on point, food is okay. I am not over eating… I am not splurging…
I have a great gym family and great people around me.
Thank you for reading. Follow me on Twitter and IG for more fun.
Love to all.
Today is bittersweet for me. A year ago I logged in here and told you about my first day. How I was going to change. How I was going to lose 100 pounds in a year. How I wanted to change my life. How I wanted to get better. Be better. I didn’t really understand what I’d have to do to really get there. I didn’t know that some people would instantly jump into the corner and fight for me and with me. I didn’t know that some people would get into the ring and fight against me, ridicule me, and bet against me. They’s smile at you and then hope you fall flat on your face.
It took me almost a year to realize that they weren’t really betting against me. They had already lost the bet to change themselves. They just wanted to pull me onto their team, into their darkness.. And that’s okay you are going to have that. So I decided to start my own team. #teamfranco and no I am not that snotty that I need my own team. I just needed/need a little hope.
I was talking to my friend Valerie after the Thanksgiving. She’s been working out, eating great, just kicking ass and gets to Thanksgiving dinner.. she eats like everyone.. I mean it is FRESH turkey. We love that shit. But they are watching… and then she gets beaten up by family members that she’s too skinny, eat a sandwich, eat more… All that fun stuff. If you are fat.. they’ll say you are a slob, you have no self control, you let yourself go. If you are skinny, or god forbid, FIT. Then you should eat a sandwich. So I was driving home from my show in Jersey that night and decided to get a few T-Shirts made for my team.. my trainers, family and people around me that have been reading my blog, following my progress, and especially the ones on similar journeys like I have been on. I wanted them to know that I appreciated them. That as much as they were there for me, I’ll be there for them. I was going to hold on to them till I hit my big goal and then thought about it and didn’t want to wait. I wanted my support team to get a little surprise. I wanted them to know that we were in this together.
So with that #TeamFranco has been born. And I have more good following me and encouraging then bad. You really just have to realize that the people who are going to shoot negativity at you are really just negative about themselves and they are projecting. Use it to motivate you. To rise up.
I have not hit my goal yet. Infact, I am 15 pounds from it today. And I am bummed about it. But I also know what I’ve changed just since the new year. I worked out and walked on New Year’s Eve. Played a sold out show at Parx Casino and got up the next morning and hit boot camp. On Sunday, after playing a wedding in Allentown, Got up and did a speed and agility conditioning class and then boot camp, I got up and did it again on Monday and then waked 2.5 miles.
This morning I got up and walked and then headed to boot camp and will probably do a sculpt and tone class tonight as well. I have kept my calories in check and my water intake high. Started watching my protein and carbs a little better. Ironically to get over this plateau I am upping my activity and my food, or at least getting close to the calories I am supposed to get.
So what about the goal? Because of the swelling that is still always in my legs, Friday’s seem to be the best day to weight in. So I’ll do that and use those as my official numbers. Try to remember that I was out of commission and in a depression when I broke my elbow in August too. So giving myself a few days won’t hurt anyone. I’ll write to you on Friday. I want to answer some questions for newer readers about what I am doing, apps, I use etc. They are the unseen #teamfranco members. I’ll also tell you more about my team, the trainers etc. Some of the people behind me.
Do you want to be on #teamfranco? You already are. You are reading this and care enough to get through my babble.
But as bummed out as I am lets just review a few fast facts:
If the goal takes me a few more weeks, then so be it. But I will get the goal, and then I’ll make much smaller ones. But first we’ll get to 311, then we’ll get to 300 and then we’ll see what happens.
I feel good, I look okay and although stressed and frustrated at times, I am happier than I have been in a long time.
Thank you for being on this journey with me for a year now. #hello2015
You are loved.