I sat down at the broken piano and played only the black keys and they were sad. I played sad songs on the minor keys of a broken piano. The only songs I know are November Rain and I will Survive. Two songs on the opposite spectrum. A broken piano is still a beautiful thing to see and hear.
You get to an age I guess in life when things around you just seem to break. I am broken. I have been sick for over two weeks. I would get better for a day or two and then it would hit me again and finally last night I couldn’t take it anymore and drove myself to Urgent Care because I knew I needed blood work. I didn’t want any more doctors just trying to take a guess at what might be wrong with me. I went to three of them and they were all packed so finally around 9 o’clock Amber took me back to the first one and we just waited it out. And low and behold.. I’ve been fighting a bacterial infection for two weeks… it wasn’t viral. And of course for some reason my calcium was low. So antibiotics, Gatorade, a bland diet and rest. 14 days I have felt like crap and I could have written war and peace for the amount of time I spent in the bathroom. But at least now I know what’s wrong with me and how we can fix it.
I am broken.
All my heroes are tired. My mom is having a tough year. A few set backs and what I was hoping was going to be an easy total knee replacement on Tuesday but he’s having a hard time with it. She’s in a lot of pain and she’s never really had anything done before and it breaks my heart to see her so sad. I am trying to give her the bigger picture. One she gets through these first few days she’s going to be much better. I’ve been through so much in my lifetime and surgeries that I guess I am immune to them. I hate that my heroes are getting older and they are human no matter what caps they wear.
I am broken.
I haven’t been on a scale this week. I only got three work outs in this week. They weren’t great workouts either. I have just felt off and weak. I did my best. I guess I’ll rest and start fresh on Monday. We’ll have to restock the fridge because we lost power for two days and had to empty it into the trash. It’s been a long week. Not feeling good didn’t help.
I wish someone could just lift up the weight off the world off my shoulders just for a moment or two. So I could breath. I have been screaming for a break.
Sorry that I don’t have much more than this for you this week.
Maybe next week.