I don’t even know where to start this week so I guess we can start with the scale and go from there. I am still pretty much where I’ve been in the middle of things for the last couple weeks. Haven’t gained any weight, I haven’t really lost any weight. Still going to the gym five days a week. Still logging everything I put in my mouth. Sooner or later something will have to give. I am floating in the 250’s and I just want to see 249 on that scale so damn bad!
I was very happy to finish a strength training 12 week program that I started out on at the beginning of the second week of the year. So it basically tells you that we are 13 weeks or so into 2019. Anyone on the journey with me is pushing forward and that’s fantastic. Lately so many people have been reaching out to me about where to start so I want to remind you that there is a link in the navigation of the website for you to get moving.. keto, paleo, whole 30… no matter how you slice it, eat less calories then you burn off. SCIENCE!
My company, yes I do have a job that is not the band, recently acquired a West Coast division. I was actually a little nervous that I might lose my job since there are 81 teammates out there and only three of us over here on the Microsoft side East Coast, but I instantly ended up with a lot more responsibility. So I had a little bit more flex in my schedule it’s not so much anymore. That is OK. I like being needed. It’s a good feeling.
I guess I am definitely a mouth breather lately because I have been having 4 AM panic attacks while sleeping. Let me explain. I basically wake up with my throat and mouth completely dry and choking. I think I have mentioned it before that one of my biggest fears and paranoia is dying in my sleep. It actually makes me very restless most nights. I am using a humidifier now and we will see how that works.
The last two or three months have been great. I’ve been figuring out how to work through stress a lot better. Although it doesn’t seem to end most days.
You really do have to try to surround yourself with the best of the best. People that you can inspire, people that will inspire you, people that will pick you up when you fall, and people they will call you out when you’re an asshole.
Sometimes you just have to be done, not mad, not upset. Just done.
You’ll know when that time comes. Sometimes you could be screaming from a mountain and still not get through, or still not be heard.
I’m really glad that I have Amber who will always call me on my shit. And is not afraid to hit me with the truth bomb for sure.
My BFF has been going through a lot himself, adapting to single parenting and doing his best to be there for his daughter. He is definitely one of the good ones. If your friend can’t hear constructive criticism, they aren’t your friends. If you can’t give it to them, you aren’t one either. I never have to be afraid of what I say or feel with him. And trust me I have sugarcoated things, and sometimes I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs. It’s not always pretty. But it’s honest. And no matter what, we are there to pick each other up.
On Friday night my family was a guest at my son’s best friends wedding. So many things I could say about it. Being on the opposite side is mind blowing sometimes. The wedding was definitely excessive. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. Just over-the-top crazy. Not sure if I will ever see anything like that again. I will post some photos below.
I know that I post things, and people no matter how many times I’ve said don’t read into things because they might be song lyrics, they just might be current feels, but chances are they are not about you. I know that’s hard sometimes for people to comprehend. On Sunday morning I posted a little talk box on Instagram that said – “ I need to figure out the balance between quiet politeness and total honesty”.
This was actually the final outcome of a conversation I had with a groom from 10 years ago who happened to be a part of the wedding the band played this past weekend. I had two situations happen during the wedding.
Very drunken guest dancing to music in her head, very sexually, screaming at the band that she was dancing no matter what, when I asked for the dance floor to be cleared, for the parent dances. I could not help myself and into the microphone I explained to her very kindly that she could dance all she wants but she might take away from the bride finally getting a moment to dance with her father. Her date realized what was happening and sat her down for a few minutes. It was OK though because she came back To the front of the stage to dance for us a few minutes later.
I had to get her off the dance floor, maybe I should’ve went down off the stage and spoke to her, but my tolerance for drunk people is very little at this point of my life. Maybe I just felt super comfortable because the bride’s mom is a really big supporter of mine and is just awesome. Either way, it became part of my conversation later at evening with this past groom because he owns a few companies, is very worldly, and actually gives very good advice.
When I asked to clear the dance floor for the cake cutting, the wedding was already running late, and I just wanted to get to the party. It was a six hour wedding. You would think that there was plenty of time for someone to have a picture taken. But I get a random woman screaming in my ear that she needs a few more minutes and to wait because they need to get a photograph taken. I begin to tell her that I have a timeline from the bride’s mom that is the Bible that I must follow. She then calls mumbled something under her breath at me and then tells me that she’s an atheist and doesn’t care about the Bible. I again tell her that I must follow the bride’s mom’s wishes. And for the rest the evening was basically telling anyone and everyone in front of us that I was an asshole. Every time I came up to sing she would roll her eyes at me at me. It turns out that this crazy woman was the grooms aunt. It also turned out that the bride’s mom thought it was hysterical. And basically said that she trained me well. And that since she paid for us. She was the boss. I kinda knew that was going to be the answer by knowing this family. Still I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. Surely someone who loves the bride and groom would understand that I needed to follow their timeline and do what’s best for them.
So we definitely got to talking after the wedding dusted settled and I was explaining to Matt, the past groom that I was struggling in the person that I am becoming at my age. That while I know what’s right business wise. The stress of a wedding and who I am accountable to, doesn’t always make me the favorite person. This is a bride into my personal life and other jobs too.
Matt sent me a text the next morning. And he said those words to me. Hang in there, you’re doing fantastic. I also need to figure out the balance between quiet politeness and total honesty.
You see, sometimes silence is an answer. I might not respond, but by being silent, I did.
I hope this weeks blog finds everybody well.
Thank you for reading, have a great weekend.