I don’t even know where to start today. This past weekend the band had two awesome shows. I felt good, comfortable in my skin. It was the Nice to see so many of our South Jersey peeps. All of my Carney’s family seemed to roll through Wildwood and that meant a hell of a lot to me.
Not sure if it was the cold at the beach, or walking to our favorite dive bar in the pouring rain without umbrellas but by Sunday night I knew something was wrong. Monday morning I went to the gym, didn’t feel bad, went to buy a router for the band at Sam’s Club. And then by dinner time felt like death. I haven’t left the house until this morning. Even skipped rehearsal and I never do that. I didn’t want to make anyone sick with all my coughing.
I haven’t missed the gym in a long time. So this morning I did legs and if I’m feeling up to it I will probably do chest this evening. I haven’t missed the gym in a long time. So this morning I did legs and if I am feeling up to it I will probably do chest this evening. Tomorrow will be back and triceps and then I am back on schedule.
I talked about this before and I know it’s going to be hard but tomorrow morning I am going to get on the scale, log my weight, and put the scale away for the entire month of March. You see I had a plan. Because my weight has been pretty much the same since the new year and has gone up and down in an 6 pound range over and over again I decided to try to take the stress of the scale away. I am doing everything right. It will click in sooner or later. So for my birthday – American eagle sent me a coupon for a pair of jeans, apparently I spent enough money there since October. They were having a decent tshirt clearance as well so I got two vnecks to take and leave at the shore and a new pair of jeans size 32 – I figured I am in 34s now. Instead of driving myself crazy with the scale, I could just once a week try on these jeans to see how they fit. Well just about like anything else that I plan ahead for it never quite works out that way. The size 32 jeans actually fit. Yeah no fucking shit. My ass is in a size 32 Jean. If you’re going to say that they are stretchy jeans and forgiving I will fight you. I know that jack ass. I am OK with it. Baba gave me two pair of size large Adidas shorts as well and they felt fantastic too so I am getting there. Did I have to shove some loose skin and all the right places to make them work, absolutely. But they fit and they were comfortable enough that I could wear them out. I will not. I will actually work on making them fit a lot easier by the months end.
But we are going to put the scale away. It cannot drive us anymore. It will be nice to see what it says on April 1.
It was nice to get a few comments last week about my blog and that people felt connected to it. It does suck to always have to watch what you put in your mouth. I am ALWAYS going to have to do that. It’s just the way it is for me. And guess what? that’s okay. I feel good. I look okay…. and I am pushing a lot of my demons aside.
I am going to Florida in May alone for a few days for some family stuff and I am not the least bit anxious or stressed about it. Don’t care who sits next to me. Seat belt will fit. I won’t be the one on top of anyone.. Don’t need extra leg room. Just gonna do my thing.
So It’s a short one this week but you are all caught up. Oh I did take off two pounds this week but it was weight I somehow magically put on so I am 2 pounds from my lowest a few weeks ago.
Let it go where it’s supposed to.