Last week I wrote a massive blog and caught everyone up with life. Lately I have been a firm believer that life happens and we just keep moving on with it. Hmmm. “Life Happens”. I think life has happened so much to me and the family lately.
I didn’t speak too much about it because it wasn’t public yet on the web and it wasn’t my story to tell, but we lost a close friend last week, my friend Heidi. We met Heidi and her family through the UGH soccer club. Johnny Mac called me on the way home from rehearsal last week because he knew we were close and didn’t want me to see it on the internet first. When I hung up the phone with him. I called Amber and woke her up because I needed to drive home without losing it. But when I told her I was almost home she texted me that she was crying and torn up and I sat in my driveway trying to pull myself together. I tossed and turned all night and got up and went to the gym because I could hear Heidi telling me to suck it up and get what I had to do done. My heart wasn’t in it and two or three times on the way home the tears just started flowing. Heidi was 11 years older than me. Brandon and her son Andrew played soccer together and ever since they’d been a part of the family. In the late high school years/early college years the boys went to have Thanksgiving with their dads family, Heidi heard Amber and I joking about eating a gobbler from WAWA and she wasn’t having that. 20 plus people already invading her house and she would not take no for an answer, and we went for a few years till the boys decided they wanted to have Thanksgiving at home, then Amber and I stopped over on Easter. It didn’t matter there was always enough food, extra dark meat for her husband Andy and more side dishes than the Golden Corral.
I got to watch Heidi’s face from the stage as I sang her daughter Danielle’s first dance at her wedding this past February and I won’t get to see her dance with her son at his this coming June. There is nothing wrong with my blood family, the only thing I wish I could change is that they didn’t live so far away. I love them dearly. I am blessed to also have a family that chose to be family with me. Tomorrow morning I have to say goodbye to one of those family members. I don’t want to. I don’t understand why God needs these amazing, good, loving people so early. With Heidi, maybe he needed a cook. We still needed her for many reasons. The really good part of life was just about to start for her… kids married, grandchildren… that part of life that I find myself talking about with my wife… ok we’ll do that in a few years.. we have to do this first.. this has to happen before we can do that and in the end… we better not wait too long because you don’t know when we are going to be called home.
I definitely just said fuck it and wanted Amber to know that her 50th was a big deal and even though Brandon’s wedding is a few days later, I went on Stubhub and bought Harry Potter and the Cursed Child tickets and booked a room in NYC so we don’t have to come home late and try to figure out where the hell we are, and while I really didn’t want to spend the money, I didn’t want this period of our life to go by and I didn’t want to put off little things that we want to do because of time and/or money. So I got a little guidance from my friend Mandy who just went for her birthday and a few ideas from her hubby and just said FUCK IT! It’s just money and I am not lazy and I can make more. I can’t replace a missed experience. I can’t wait till November. As I am typing this I haven’t given the present to her but I will today before I post this. (She loved it)
So I have a few more main things to talk about today but in case you are just here for the weight loss stuff, let me catch you up quickly.
Today was a good day. I am still trying to work the intermittent fasting. I get hungry sometimes but for the most part I am okay with waiting till 1pm to eat. I do not fast over the weekend, I stop when I wake up on Friday and then start again on Sunday night at 9pm. The weekend, no matter what throws my body into a weird place. I don’t know if it’s the time on my feet on the weekend or the late nights and exhaustion but the scale never seems too happy with me till later in the week. I also really fine tune and refocus myself early in the week. BUT I am making head way.
I have 7 pounds to go hit my #50lbsin2018 goal.
I have lost almost 44lbs since April 13th
I have lost 121 pounds since I started my journey 4 ½ years ago.
Still see the same old me in the mirror.
Still just doing my best most days.
I am on week two of my big boy job and I’ve still gotten to the gym 5 days a week. Either first thing in the Am or after working I am getting it done. I am also in the process of shutting down the studio and moving out and running around like a maniac. I can still get it done. So in the end, you can get it in to if you are asking yourself that question. It’s not easy and most days right now as I am ramping up, trying to show a room full of people that I am not an idiot and that I am worth something to the team, I just want to ball up on the couch with the dogs. Get warm and toasty and sleep. That simple. I wish I could do more at this point. I think I’ve only gotten a solid cardio session 2x since I started work so I know I am going to find a balance once I hand the studio keys back. Hopefully we’ll be done most of it on Sunday.
This past weekend we got some news while on stage that one of our biggest accounts for the band was going dark for at least 4-5 months. It sucks. Totally floored me and created massive holes in our schedule that were already there lurking. That creates a ripple effect where other want to experience life and request nights off. So I used to get upset about it. I used to worry about everyone needing money and their bills. So I took a deep breath this week and said ya know what.. I’ll be fine. I can’t worry about anyone else anymore. I am okay. Praise Jesus. I can’t make everyone else around me okay. That’s on them.
So two more weeks of traveling around the coast like a complete Jackass then I have every Friday in September off. The worse Bigg Romeo fall schedule in 23 years. Guess I better really learn about this computer stuff.
I can’t wait to head to the gym tonight to blow off some steam.
Well as usual we got caught up and I wrote and wrote and wrote.
I hope that everyone is okay honestly – I pray that my friends that are hurting can find a little peace and even a little smile once in awhile.
Till we meet again.