I always seem to be my most reflective around the holidays. I miss my family sometimes. Wish we’d all make an effort to see each other more and I just sit back and take a lot in. This has been a tough year. Trying to find a day job for me so I don’t have to depend on the band and actually have a life that isn’t begging my friends to come hang out with me, hasn’t been fruitful and will be the #1 goal of 2017 – it’s never easy… But I sit back and take it all in.
I kissed yesterday goodbye. Goodbye to dreams and promised that leave you looking into the night, leave me restless more then anything. I’ve taken disappointments one by one. You try hard to make disappointments turn to experience but how much can you take?
Do I stand alone? I don’t think I do.
I am blessed and I know it. I have a good family, a great group of friends and people in my life that would do anything for me.
I guess I seem like a praying man lately. It must come with getting older. I know growing up my dad made us go to church and then we kinda didn’t. Now he goes all the time. Basically – I don’t want anyone to hurt. And for some odd reason everyone seems to be hurting in some sort of way. It’s a strange feeling for sure. Anxious. Panic. Fear. Uncertainty.
Band vacation came and went. I got to see some friends but other than a Flyers game really kept it low key and sitting in my chair with the little man keeping my legs warm. He’s there right now as I type this!
So today is Wednesday. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The band fires back up tonight. I am not going to be drinking. And I am going to do my best to have all my protein accounted for before I even leave for the show. At least tomorrow with the program that I am running it’s a high carb day. But honestly, I know the food will be good but I am not like over the top loosing my mind for Thanksgiving dinner like some people out there. We have a Thanksgiving food all the time, whenever we feel like it. We might not use the fancy plates but who the hell wants to clean them. (I never do 🙂
I am running my program and trying to transform. I am going to try my best to stick to the macros tomorrow. I’ll be pissed come Friday morning on the scale if I don’t.
And I never finished yesterday and it’s Thanksgiving afternoon now… And like a whisper in the morning this will come and go too!
Every day my grandma woke up, opened the door and thanked Jesus for another day. Even on her last day with us, minutes before she joined him she thanked him, I found her breakfast on the kitchen counter unmade. But the front door was open. I know she thanked him and in turn he wanted to have breakfast with her that morning. It must have been some feast. I miss her every day. God how she loved the food on Thanksgiving.
I think that she had it right too. Starting today I am going to try to be much more thankful on a daily basis, and that no matter what I have an extra day to do things over. Happy Thanksgiving! Be good to each other!
I restarted everything on November 7th and in 17 days I’ve lost 14.6 pounds, 3.5 inches off my thighs, 4 inches off my mid section and 2.5 off my hips. I got back into clothes last night that stopped fitting over the summer and I’ll take that non-scale win and keep going.
I have a long road to go but I am back on the road and for a few moments started to watch things and life from the sidelines and I won’t do that anymore. I will not allow it. I am going to prepare to go into 2017 with a fire that will be unmatched. We’ll talk about my goal and bucket list for 2017 in a few weeks but I am making notes, changes and have ideas.
One more thing that I feel like I should share… Garth brooks has a song that is called Unanswered Prayers. Click the link if you’d like to hear it. Well anyway… The song says really talks about how sometimes you think that God isn’t listening but the truth is that unanswered prayers can be what God heard and delivered… So he sings…. “Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”.
Well anyway, as I was singing last night at my shoe, this woman came up to me and said, hey do you remember me I’m… and a flash cube went off in my head… it was a girl that back in 10th or 11th grade I was so crushing on… she was a dancer in all the plays. I remember writing her a love note kinda hey do you wanna hang out some time. She of course didn’t even have the kindness to pull the friend card… she just decided to go the complete other route and make sure all my friends read the note… passed it around.. made sure I was good an beaten down and that was that. I didn’t realize it then.. I was just hurt and embarrassed. 45 year old Franco would give the 16 year old Franco props for trying… 45 year old Franco also realizes that was an unanswered prayer that probably worked in my favor. She drunkenly danced most of the night to the band… and that was it… I went home to the prayers that God actually did answer and am sitting here writing to you with dogs draped over children, Amber in the kitchen making sure everything is perfect and 45 year old Franco coming to grips with the questions he asks himself…..
Do I stand alone? I don’t think I do!
You don’t either. It will be okay. #into2017
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Be good to each other!
Thank you for reading.