If I would have written this yesterday on my usual day it would have been a much different posting. Yesterday’s and this weeks weigh ins have been brutal. I had gained weight. But I made sure I got all my calories in yesterday and ended up with a loss. It’s not a big one but it’s the scale going in the right direction. I lose 1 pound since last week so I guess a pound is a pound right?
I can’t even begin to write about the depression and funk I’ve been in this week without making you want to bash my head in against the wall. It’s real and it gets scary sometimes in my head. But they say that a lot of the weight loss and working out is mental and that you have to fight those demons more than going to the gym.
I know I have to increase my food intake. I have my brain wired on correctly now and I’ll see what happens this week. Get my food to where it’s got to be and go from there.
I have never wanted something so bad. I can’t believe that I have been working on something for so long. I usually would have quit on myself months ago. So here I am. 60 days till new years eve and 66 days to goal day which is officially the morning of January 6th.
This is where I am at. So close to the lightest I have been since 2007.
- I started at a size 60 belt for my size 60 pants. I had a size 52 belt that was too big this past weekend. I bought a size 46 belt and I am three holes in on that one.
- My size 50 jeans are all really loose. I am hoping to use them for another month and then just jump to a 46. I have only been buying 2 pairs a jeans at once. I have a blue pair and a black pair.
- Had my second personal training session this past week and was in a lot less pain the next day and although I was a little funked out about the scale, I was happy with my effort.
- I already bought my outfit for NYE. It’s a little snug but I know by New Year’s eve it’s going to look awesome.
- The lose it app says I am 57 days to goal. That would make me very happy.
So I’ll save you the woh is me. I will tell you that this is kicking my ass and the past week was one of the hardest. I was very down. But even with only 1 pound or so lost from last week. I am okay. It’s a marathon for sure. Not a sprint. I don’t run!
I am going to get my couch to 5K week three going this week. Change up my routine a little and see what happens.
I whip my hair back and forth. I whip my hair back and forth.